


NCIS LA : Revelations

by Yeleli_tilki



Category: NCIS: Los Angeles
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-31
Updated: 2017-03-26
Packaged: 2018-05-30 08:08:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 22
Words: 33,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6415705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yeleli_tilki/pseuds/Yeleli_tilki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The horrors of Deeks's childhood are coming back to haunt him. An abuser from Deeks's past has brought his sex trafficking business back to LA and Deeks is in a unique position to go undercover and gain valuable information needed to shut down the ring, but doing so means ingratiating himself to the same man who took advantage of him when he was a teenager.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So, this story goes to a pretty dark place. I really wanted to explore the emotions that go along with the revelation of a past trauma in a loved one's life. In addition, I adore detective Marty Deeks and was interested in writing a story in which the emotional connections between various NCIS characters and Deeks would get some much needed exposure. Anyhow, I hope it's a good read!
> 
> Oh and a special shout out to the person who posted a review for this story on another site and suggested I try posting on Archive of our own. Thanks!
> 
> Finally, I of course do not own the rights to NCIS LA. This is merely a story I plucked from my own brain.
> 
> Enjoy!

NCIS LA : Revelations  
Chapter 1

“Yes, yes; you told me to pick it up yesterday, Kensi.” Marty Deeks rolled his eyes as his girl friend of two years continued nitpicking over the phone.

“Don’t give me attitude! You forget stuff like this sometimes; I’m just making sure you remember.” Kensi paused. “Wait, why aren’t you here yet? You left before me this morning.”

“Keep your hair on. I’m literally walking in the door right now.” Deeks hung up as he walked into the bullpen. Kensi had one eyebrow raised; she had noticed he hadn’t answered her question about why he was late.

He shrugged. “I had to stop by LAPD and catch up on some paperwork.”

Kensi frowned, not fully satisfied with his answer. She decided to drop it for the time being.

“Come on.” Kensi stood up from her chair. “Sam and Callen are in the gym.”

Deeks put down his bag at his desk and followed her. He would have to come up with something better to tell her before the subject came up again. Ugh. All the secrecy was seriously starting to annoy him. At this point, the façade was laughably unnecessary. Clearance be damned. His team deserved to be looped in after six years of working together. 

Callen and Sam were practicing their knife skills using the practice blade that delivered slight electric shocks upon skin contact. Sam was yelping from Callen’s most recent successful swipe. 

“Ouch! That actually hurts!” Sam looked down at his arm. “I wouldn’t want to come across you in a dark alley, man. You know, you’re the first person to actually get me with that thing.” 

Callen grinned at him. “Was that a humble brag, Sam?” 

“Oh, I wasn’t being humble.” Sam responded, crossing his arms and grinning.

“How ‘bout I jump in and help you with the humble thing?” Kensi walked over holding her hand out for Callen’s practice blade.

“We were just finishing up.” Sam smiled. “Besides, I can think of someone who needs the practice a whole lot more than I do.” He looked pointedly at Deeks.

Deeks laughed uncomfortably. And so the lies continued. “I have a gun; what do I need to know how to use a knife for?”

“Get in here, Deeks!” Kensi beckoned with one finger. “An NCIS agent needs to be trained in a range of fighting techniques. You’re one of us. Now, show me what you’ve got.”

Deeks sighed and walked over, making a face at Sam as the big man handed him his practice blade. He turned to face Kensi, his stance relaxed. He just had to slow down his reactions. Give Kensi an easy opening. End the practice session quickly. Keep them all thinking he was no good with knives. Deeks sighed again. He was so tired of keeping up this act. 

Sam and Callen snickered as Deeks made his way over. He looked so damn uncomfortable with the practice blade in his hand. Kensi was going to crush him.

Kensi was smiling like the cat that ate the canary as she watched Deeks begrudgingly walk over to stand in front of her. She waited a moment for him to take on a fighting stance, but when he did not, she struck out with her blade like a cobra, giving no warning. 

Deeks registered Kensi’s movement, but held off on reacting until she was inches from his chest. He needed to make it look like his reflexes were slower than hers. He then sidestepped slightly so that the practice blade grazed his left arm. 

“Geez!” He yelped. “Give a guy a chance, Kens!” 

Kensi swiped at him again and he jumped back out of range just in time to avoid her blade. “On the defensive already, partner? You really are hopeless at this.” She laughed.

“Why would an LAPD officer need to know how to use a knife?” He couldn’t look her in the eyes as he said this. Lying to Kensi made him feel sick to his stomach. The more serious their relationship got, the more sick it made him. He had to come clean. Shit.

A whistle sounded from the doorway of the gym. Relieved Deeks let the hand holding the practice blade drop to his side and turned to see Eric. 

“Aww, Eric! I was just about to kick Deek’s butt!” Kensi pouted. 

“Sorry. You’re presence has been requested in Ops.” Eric shrugged. 

 

The team walked into Ops. Hetty was looking uncharacteristically stony faced. Her eyes flickered to Deeks, hoping she could warn him with her eyes before he saw the face of the man on the screen. She really wished she had gotten a chance to pull him aside to talk privately beforehand. 

Deeks noticed Hetty’s nonverbal communication that he wasn’t going to like what was coming. His eyebrows furrowed slightly and he raised his eyes cautiously to look at the image on the big screen. Not possible. 

His face was expressionless, concealing the hatred that boiled up behind his eyes, as he looked back at Hetty.

Then Deeks started speaking in flawless Russian, his voice steely with anger. “Why is Volkov on that screen, Henrietta?” All eyes turned to Deeks. 

“He’s supposed to be dead.” Deeks continued, not breaking eye contact with Hetty as he gauged her expression.

Hetty responded calmly in Russian. “It would seem reports of Volkov’s death were greatly exaggerated.” She then pointedly directed her gaze at Callen, the only other person in the room who could understand Russian, before looking back at Deeks. 

He got the message. Detective Deeks of the LAPD wasn’t supposed to be able to speak or understand Russian. Who fucking cares! He took a breath, controlling his feelings, and then turned to look at the rest of the team. 

Returning to English, he spoke in a professional voice, betraying none of his anger. “The man on the screen is Vladimir Volkov.” Deeks paused for a moment to craft an edited version of the real story that provided enough of an explanation as to why he knew about Volkov, without dredging up a past he didn’t want any of his teammates to ever know about. “Some years back, the LAPD worked with the FBI to shut down an international sex-trafficking ring with a base here in LA. Volkov was the guy in charge of the ring. All the kids involved in the ring here in LA were successfully extricated and relocated by WitSec, but Volkov got tipped off about the raid and fled back to Russia so the ring’s operations in other countries continued. A couple years ago, Volkov was reportedly killed by a business rival and his trafficking ring was supposed to have been shut down after that.” Deeks looked at Hetty then, inviting her to brief him and the rest of the team.

Hetty nodded at him. “Thank you for the introduction, Mr. Deeks.” She turned her head to look up at the man on the screen before continuing. “Volkov was flagged by facial recognition software around four AM this morning when he ran a red light outside a club called KickBack. Since then, LAPD has been notified that officers need to be briefed on the details of the Volkov case and made aware of his old running mates. The FBI has been made aware as well.” Hetty purposefully avoided looking at Deeks as she said the last part. 

“So… Deeks, you worked this case before?” Kensi asked, confused by his previous angry outburst in Russian. 

Deeks didn’t meet her eyes right away. “I…” He swallowed against the sick feeling in his stomach and raised his gaze to meet hers. “I was involved in it, yes.” He looked away again before continuing. “I actually went undercover in the organization.” 

“Hold on a second!” Callen was looking at Deeks, slightly shocked still. “Since when can you speak Russian, Deeks? We’ve had missions before this where that could have been useful, and you didn’t say a word!” 

“It’s been a while and I’m not totally fluent; I just know what I learned while undercover for the Volkov op.” Deeks shrugged, not meeting Callen’s eyes. 

“Hetty… did you know about this?” Callen narrowed his eyes as he turned to look at Hetty. Of course you did. 

Hetty met Callen’s gaze steadily. “I did indeed, Mr. Callen.” 

“And you didn’t think that was something the team should know about?” Callen asked, frustration seeping into his voice. 

“Had the time come that it became necessary, I would have asked Mr. Deeks to utilize his knowledge of the Russian language. His aptitude for the language was not a secret that he or I intentionally kept from the team; it merely never came up.” Hetty responded, looking over her glasses at Callen. She held his gaze until he shook his head in exasperation.

“Now, let us return to the matter at hand.” Hetty gestured for Nell to continue the report on Volkov.

“Right.” Nell’s eyes flickered between Callen and Hetty nervously. “There have been a few reports of child trafficking here in LA over the last couple weeks. We now think that this means Volkov’s ring is still operational and that he’s returned to reestablish a base here in LA. This is where we think Volkov’s base of operations is this time around.” She looked down at her tablet and pulled up another image on the big screen of a warehouse.

Deeks made an angry noise. “There have been reports of child trafficking in the area over the last couple weeks? What the hell? Why weren’t we made aware of this before now?” He was glaring at Hetty. 

“Mr. Deeks, let us speak privately in the hall.” Hetty didn’t wait for a response before heading into the hall. Deeks loped after her, not making eye contact with the rest of the team.

 

(In Ops)

The team stared as the door closed behind Deeks. 

Callen turned to look at Kensi. “Did you know Deeks spoke Russian?”

Kensi shook her head, trying not to be hurt by the fact that her partner (and boyfriend) had kept a secret from her. There’s an explanation. He’ll have a perfectly reasonable explanation. She was sure of it.

Callen watched as Kensi’s eyes went unfocused. His eyes flicked to meet Sam’s. Sam raised his eyebrows and widened his eyes to convey he had no idea Deeks had an aptitude for any language, including Russian.

“What do you think they’re talking about out there?” Nell asked quietly, her eyes still trained on the door.

“Hetty’s probably telling Deeks to get his temper in check.” Sam said. He was surprised the detective could even get angry. “You know… I don’t think I’ve ever seen Deeks be that… serious. He’s always joking around. I didn’t know anything could get under his skin like that…” He furrowed his brow now, growing concerned.

“He can get angry.” Kensi whispered.

Everyone turned to look at her. She looked up at them and then back down at the floor. “About a month ago, a couple and their kid, a little girl, moved into the apartment above mine. One time, when Deeks was over, we heard the dad yelling and the little girl crying… Then there were these crashing sounds, like someone getting thrown around. We could tell it was bad.” She paused before continuing. “Deeks jumped up and grabbed his gun. I was right behind him. We went up the stairs and Deeks knocked on the door and the guy that lives there came out. Deeks told him we’d heard some noises and asked if everything was alright inside and the guy got all in his face and was mouthing off about how he could do whatever he wanted in his own house; he told Deeks to mind his own business. Deeks got all quiet and then he shoved the guy out of the way and went in the apartment. Deeks came back out carrying the little girl. She was crying, beaten half unconscious. He handed her to me and then he turned around and he lost it, nearly killed the guy.” Kensi looked up at all of them. “I’ve never seen him like that; he was like a different person.” 

Callen, Sam, Nell, and Eric exchanged looks. Nell spoke up then. “You guys all know by now…” She paused glancing at the door again to check that Hetty and Deeks weren’t coming back in yet. “I mean… you guys know about Deeks’s dad, right?”

“What about his dad?” Callen asked puzzled. He looked questioningly at Sam, who shrugged. 

They looked at Kensi who was nodding sadly. “He shot his dad when he was eleven.”

“What!?” Callen, Sam, and Eric all exclaimed. Callen’s and Sam’s brows furrowed as they realized how little they knew about their teammate. 

“Yeah. Apparently…” Nell paused before deciding to continue. “Apparently, his dad was horribly abusive, of Deeks and his mother. Deeks shot his father in self defense.” Kensi nodded again, her eyes clouding as she thought about the love of her life being abused. 

“He only really truly gets angry when it comes to kids, when it comes to people abusing kids.” Kensi explained. “It really gets to him, affects him in a way nothing else does.” 

Ops went quiet as the team absorbed this new information about their teammate. 

“He’s always so damn happy…” Sam was looking at the door Deeks had left through. “I always thought… I mean I just assumed he didn’t have anything like that in his past. Shit. Some of the stuff I’ve given him crap about...” He pinched the bridge of his nose, looking at the floor, ashamed for his careless judgment of the detective.

“It’s not something he talks about. Every once in a while, though, something he’ll say… it’ll just hit me that it’s… about his father.” Kensi was looking at the floor again. “I’m pretty sure his alias Max Gentry… is based on his father. I can tell how much he hates being that person, how sad it makes him to have to put on that god damned leather jacket. It hurts to watch.” She looked at the door. 

The room was silent for a moment. “What do you think is taking them so long?” Nell asked quietly. 

Before anyone could answer, the sound of footsteps became audible. A moment later, the door opened and Deeks walked back in followed by Hetty, his mouth set in a grim line.

 

(In the Hall)

They hadn’t walked far before Hetty stopped and sighed. She turned to look at Deeks, allowing her unhappiness to show on her face. 

“Mr. Deeks… I know this must be a bit of a nightmare for you. If there had been time, I would have warned you before briefing the rest of the team.“ Hetty stopped speaking at the withering look Deeks gave her.

Deeks looked away from Hetty then and stared unseeingly down at the people milling about on the floor below. “He’s supposed to be dead, Hetty.” His voice shook with dread. “This part of my past is supposed to be…” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I don’t want the team to know. I don’t want them to know about this.” He looked at Hetty now, his eyes fearful. 

“Oh, Mr. Deeks…” Hetty paused to control her own emotions. “Of course we don’t have to tell them. That is your story to share or not to share as you please.” In an uncharacteristic gesture, she reached out and squeezed his arm reassuringly. “If this case hits too close to home for you, I can make arrangements so that Ms. Blye gets a temporary partner for this op. You don’t have to be involved.” 

“I…” Deeks’s eyes went unfocused for a moment, a look of pain etched into his features, as he was temporarily pulled into a painful memory. His eyes focused again and he looked at Hetty, his mouth forming a grim line and a look of determination settling over his features. “I can’t walk away… as much as I might want to… Fuck. I have an in. I have an in that’ll get me right into the inner circle. I can’t ignore that; I can’t walk away when I’m the only one who can save those kids… all those kids.” A look of dread cast a shadow over his face.

Hetty frowned. “Mr. Deeks… you can’t mean you want to go in as Martin Brandell…?” Her frown deepened as she took in his expression confirming that that is exactly what he meant. “Volkov might have… shown a special interest in you when you were a teenager.” Hetty’s voice was brittle as she said the words, feeling sickened. It took her a moment to continue. “But that doesn’t mean he’ll have any reason to except you into his organization as an adult. Plus, there’s a good chance he knows you were cooperating with the FBI and LAPD last time. He could easily shoot you on sight.”

Deeks was shaking his head before Hetty finished speaking. “The way it all went down… my connection with the cops wasn’t revealed.” Deeks’s eyes clouded as he remembered the night of the raid. He shook his head to dispel the memory and then turned his attention back to Hetty. “And… Volkov wasn’t a pervert; he wasn’t into little boys… he was just… inordinately infatuated with me.” Deeks voice went dead as he finished speaking. He took another deep breath before continuing, his eyes dropping to the ground. “He’s been looking for me.” He whispered this last admission. 

Hetty was rarely surprised by information. A rare look of shock appeared on her face at Deeks’s words. What!? Hetty composed her features before asking her next question. An undertone of horror still managed to creep its way into her voice, though. “What do you mean Volkov has been looking for you?”

Deeks eyes flickered up briefly at the tone of Hetty’s voice and then back down to the floor as he answered. “Every few months, certain inquiries get made about the current whereabouts of Martin Brandell. Before you told me my father had died… I just assumed it was him, trying to find me.” Deeks stopped speaking for a moment, swallowed against the lump in his throat that formed at the mention of his father, and then continued. “So when you told me he was dead, I looked into the source of the inquiry and all I could learn was that the calls were coming from outside the U.S. I’m pretty sure… I mean now that I know Volkov isn’t dead… I’m almost positive he’s the one who’s been looking for information on Martin Brandell.” Deeks finally looked up to see Hetty’s horrified expression. 

“When did he last inquire about the whereabouts of Martin Brandell?” Hetty asked, her voice a deadly whisper.

“A few weeks ago.” Deeks answered.

Hetty looked searchingly at Marty Deeks now. “Is this really something you feel like you have to do?” Her voice was a whisper still, but sadness permeated her words now. “No one should ever have to do what you are volunteering for, Mr. Deeks. That man sexually abused you for years.” Hetty’s voice was filled with loathing for Vladimir Volkov. “And you are suggesting we send you in so he can abuse you some more.” She hissed, hating the entire idea.

Deeks’s determination didn’t waver. “I’m in a unique position to help, Hetty. No one else on the planet can do what I can for this case.” His eyes burned as he looked back at the tiny woman. 

She sighed, closing her eyes in defeat. “If this is something you feel you need to do, I suppose I can’t stop you. I can’t disagree that you are in a unique position to help bring this case to a close. But,” Hetty’s voice softened, “if you find that you can’t handle it, that it’s too much, you come to me and I will pull you out. Promise me.” Deeks nodded.

“Well,” Hetty looked at the door to Ops, “time to brief the team. I’ll leave the explanation for your alias up to you to fabricate. It might be difficult to keep the team from learning about your past if you do this.” She raised an eyebrow at Deeks, who blanched at the thought of the team knowing. 

“I don’t want them to know, Hetty.” He said vehemently. Then he sighed. “If you have to loop some of them in as the case progresses…” His eyes clouded with the thought. “If you have to, do it, but only on a need to know basis. Make sure they don’t say anything to the rest of the team.” Hetty nodded sadly in agreement, knowing this was the only thing she could do to make things easier for the detective.

Deeks opened the door to Ops, his mouth setting into a grim line as he thought about what he had just committed to doing. Fuck.

 

(In Ops)

Everyone was quiet as the detective walked back in with Hetty and went to stand at the foot of the table.

He looked up at them then, some emotion none of them could identify coloring his features with a seriousness none of them had ever witnessed on his face before. “I have a way into Volkov’s organization. The alias I used the last time around is still sound. I’m going to use it to go in under deep cover.” 

“Wait, wait. How the hell do you know your alias wasn’t burned!?” Sam asked incredulously. “The FBI and LAPD raided Volkov’s base of operations. He has to know there was a rat; he’s gonna suspect anyone that was around last time he did business in LA. It’d be much safer to send in one of us, present a face he’s never seen before.” 

“The alias wasn’t burned. The way things went down during the raid… made my alias stronger than ever, where Volkov is concerned.” Deeks responded, remaining as vague as he could. “He’ll trust me right of the bat… I’ll get easy access to his inner circle. Using a new face would mean wasting months to do what I can do in twenty-four hours.”

Sam’s eyebrows shot upwards. “You’re that confident that Volkov is gonna just welcome you back with open arms? Get real man.”

Callen jumped in. “Deeks, even if the alias wasn’t burned, Vokov still hasn’t been in touch with you for years so there’s no way he’ll just trust you if you walk in off the street.” Callen said, skepticism creeping into his voice and his features.

“Look, I know exactly how Volkov’s mind works. Believe me when I say, I’m the best in we’ve got. Trust me.” Deeks met both of their skeptical looks, his confidence in his words showing on his features.

Sam and Callen looked to Hetty, then, still not convinced. “Mr. Deeks will be going under deep cover using his old alias. End of discussion.” Hetty responded, meeting Sam and Callen’s eyes one after the other. And so it was.

 

“Deeks!” Kensi called, chasing after him as he packed his things for his undercover mission. “You can’t go in alone, without back up! These guys are seriously—“ 

Deeks cut her off. “Kensi.” His eyes burned with intensity. “We’re talking about hundreds of kids being trafficked here in LA, about thousands of kids being trafficked internationally.” His voice broke slightly with emotion as he turned his back to her then. “I’m the only one that can do this, the only one. I have to go. I have to.”

Kensi’s eyes filled with tears at the pain in his voice. “I know.” She said, wrapping her arms around the man she loved and hiding her face in the back of his shirt. “Please be careful. I can’t lose you.” Her voice cracked with unshed tears.

Deeks didn’t know how long they stood there like that. Finally, he sighed and Kensi knew it was time for her to let go. She hugged herself as she watched him walk out the door, an unfathomable look plastered on his face.

END of Chapter 1


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Deeks walked up to the warehouse and knocked on the door. A tall, dark haired man answered and began speaking in Russian. “Who are you? What business do you have here?”

Deeks responded in Russian. “I’m an old friend of Mr. Volkov’s. I heard he was here and was hoping he might let me in to see him. It’s been many years.” Deeks aimed his gaze downward as he spoke, taking a submissive posture.

“Mr. Volkov is busy.” The man responded stepping forward slightly so that Deeks had to step back.

“Please, if you could just tell him Martin Brandell is here to see him. If he doesn’t want to see me, I’ll leave immediately.” Deeks looked up through his eyelashes and met the man’s eyes as he said the last part, flicking his gaze down once more as he waited for an answer.

The man was taken aback slightly when the clear blue eyes of Martin Brandell flashed into his and there was a sudden increase in the snugness of his trousers. “I… I’ll ask Mr. Volkov if he knows a Martin Brandell. Wait here.” The man glanced once more at Martin Brandell before closing the door and heading inside to speak to Volkov.

Approximately five minutes later, the dark haired man returned, sounding surprised as he said, “Mr. Volkov has requested your presence.” He gestured for Brandell to enter and then closed the door behind him. Still bewildered by Volkov’s response to hearing Martin Brandell was there to see him, he glanced over his shoulder to watch as Brandell walked down the hall to meet his boss.

Vladimir Volkov was sitting up on a raised platform in a decorative chair, like a king sitting on a throne. He sat now with one leg crossed over the other, his hands woven together and resting on his knee, as he waited to see a very special person enter the room. Deeks turned the corner, then, his eyes cast downward submissively. He flicked his eyes up quickly to ascertain Volkov’s position and then let them fall once more as he approached the platform. A pleased grin spread across Volkov’s face and an obsessive gleam came over his eyes. 

“My Martin, you have come back to me!” Volkov exclaimed delightedly. Some of the other men working around the room looked up in shock at their boss’s uncharacteristic light mood. “Ah, and you have grown ever more beautiful.” 

Deeks felt sick to his stomach. He didn’t let it show on his face though and instead arranged his features into an abashed smile conveying his pleasure at the compliment. He let his eyes flash up into Volkov’s briefly before directing them downward again.

“Don’t be a stranger, my dear Martin. Come sit with me.” Volkov held out a hand, beckoning Deeks closer. Deeks obliged, letting his eyes flick between the ground and Volkov a few times to communicate feelings of longing for the man in front of him. He took Volkov’s hand and the man pulled him so he was sitting sideways across his lap. Deeks suppressed his instinct to flinch away from the contact and instead leaned closer letting his eyes rise to hold Volkov’s gaze steadily now, his mouth open slightly. Volkov caressed Deeks face, a familiar look of possessiveness coming over his features. “It has been too long, my Martin.”

“Yes sir,” Deeks made his voice slightly breathy as he responded, “far too long.” Volkov leaned in to run the tip of his nose along Deeks’s throat, taking in the smell of his long lost lover.

“Let us take our reunion somewhere more private.” Volkov suggested, an excited gleam entering his eyes. Deeks forced an eager smile to show on his face as he let Volkov pull him along to a private room.

 

(Back at NCIS)

“When was he supposed to have checked in by?” Kensi’s voice raised in pitch as her anxiety grew. “What does it mean that he hasn’t checked in yet, Hetty?”

Hetty looked over her glasses at her panicked agent. “Ms. Blye, you know very well that undercover assignments mean check-ins get missed sometimes for no other reason than because the undercover agent is trying to maintain cover. Mr. Deeks said he would try to check in, if the opportunity presented itself. He also said it might take a couple days for him to find a valid reason to get out of the warehouse.” She searched her brain for something to distract Kensi with. “Why don’t you follow up on the names Mr. Deeks gave us from when he was undercover with Volkov the last time around?”

Kensi closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Right, okay, I guess I can do that.” 

“Take Nell with you; you’re not to go into the field without a partner.” Hetty was turning to call up the stairs for Nell.

“Deeks is in the field without a partner.” Kensi said quietly, distaste creeping into her voice.

“Mr. Deeks is undercover, Ms. Blye. He couldn’t bring a partner under the circumstances. You know that as well as I.” Hetty responded calmly.

“I still hate it. I hate that no one is watching his back right now!” Kensi sat down hard in the chair behind her desk and let her head fall into her hands. “He could be hurt and we would have no idea! What if his alias didn’t hold up?” Kensi looked up at Hetty now, pleading with her eyes for some words of comfort from her boss.

“Ms. Blye, I spoke to Mr. Deeks about the events that occurred last time. His cover is very much in tact. His name was redacted from LAPD case files. There really is no reason for you to worry that his alias won’t get him in the door.” Hetty kept everything she said as vague as possible, hoping Kensi wouldn’t start asking questions about why Deeks’s name was redacted.

“He did get in the door.” Nell’s voice called down from Ops.

Kensi jumped up from her chair and started towards the stairs. “You have eyes on the warehouse?”

Nell accompanied Kensi and Hetty back to Ops, speaking as they walked. “Yup, want to do the honors and tell us what they’re saying Kensi?”

They entered Ops and Eric immediately pressed play on his tablet so that the footage began to roll. They watched as Deeks walked up to the warehouse door and knocked. They watched a man answer and ask who Deeks was. They couldn’t see anything Deeks said, but a strange look came over the man at the door’s face in response to something the detective did or said. The man closed the door then and Deeks waited. A bit later the door opened again and the man stood aside to let Deeks inside.

“Wow. He got in, then… so easily.” Kensi turned to look at Hetty. “Hetty… what did Deeks do when he was undercover with the Volkov organization? I mean, what could Deeks do for a man like that?” 

Hetty didn’t answer immediately, her eyes still on the screen. “Mr. Deeks helped to recruit high profile clients in the LA area. He also helped take care of the children in the ring.” 

Kensi’s brow remained slightly furrowed as she looked back to the screen. “Eric can you play it again and zoom in more so I can try to lip-read what the guy at the door said.” 

“You got it.” Eric obliged.

“Wait, wait. Replay that last thing he said, before he closes the door.” Kensi squinted in concentration. Her eyes widened and she turned to look at Hetty once more. “What’s the name of Deeks’s alias, Hetty?”

Hetty nodded, frowning. “You’ve got it right Ms. Blye. Deeks is using his birth name: Martin Brandell.”

“Why the hell would he use his real name!? Why the hell would you let him use his real name, Hetty?” Kensi spluttered. 

“That is the name Volkov knew Deeks by last time. I cannot answer the question of why Mr. Deeks chose to give that name, but rest assured, there is no existing link between the name Martin Brandell and Deeks. Since Deeks legally changed his name, Martin Brandell exists now only as an alias.” Hetty answered evenly.

“Hetty, Deeks using that name doesn’t make sense. Why would the LAPD sanction the use of Brandell as an alias?” Kensi could feel that something was being left out, that Hetty had answers she wasn’t sharing.

“I cannot answer that Ms. Blye.” Hetty’s expression gave nothing away.

“You can’t or you’re choosing not to?” Kensi asked, her voice taking on a dangerous edge.

Hetty remained silent, looking at Kensi with a controlled, blank expression. Kensi shook her head, betrayal darkening her features, and then strode quickly out of Ops.

Hetty sighed as she watched her go. She hoped Deeks would be able to come up with a good reason for why he might have used Martin Brandell as an alias. 

 

Deeks was sitting at Volkov’s right side at the head of a long table, packed with the members of the inner circle of the sex trafficking ring. Volkov was discussing an incoming ‘shipment’ with another Russian who was sitting four seats down. 

“They’re asking for more money, now that the operation has attracted the attention of local law enforcement.” The Russian said, shaking his head in disgust. 

“Tell them local law enforcement poses little threat to us. The LAPD is out of their depth, they can’t touch us. Plus, they still think they’ve just stumbled across a small time prostitution business. The FBI remains clueless and most of the world still thinks me and my organization are closed for business.” Volkov laughed darkly. Then his eyes blackened and he leaned forward, his voice taking on a dangerous edge. “They won’t be getting a cent more. If they give you any more shit, tell them we’ve got other suppliers and we’ll sooner cut ties than get squeezed for more money.”

Deeks kept his eyes trained respectfully downward, only looking up to meet and return the occasional burning look from Volkov. He had already put a name and face to every major player in the room. With any luck, he’d be able to shut down the ring within the week. 

“Martin?” Deeks looked up at Volkov. “I trust you will be able to secure enough high profile buyers to fill up the seats at our little ‘auction’ the day after tomorrow?”

Deeks responded confidently in Russian. “It won’t be a problem, sir. I’ll need to make a few calls, though, and meet a few people face-to-face.” 

Volkov nodded, shooting a pleased smirk at Deeks before turning to the man at his left. “Have you received confirmation of attendance from our special guest yet, Olaf?”

A sudden objection arose from the furthest end of the table from the youngest man in the room, a pale faced twenty something year old with a shock of dark hair. “Boss? Who is this outsider? Perhaps you should ask him to leave and take care of his duties before discussing further any more of our business.” He glared at Deeks, mistrust and jealousy contorting his expression.

“Quiet yourself, Alexander!” Volkov spat, livid at the outburst from his former lover. “I have invited Martin to this table. Do not disrespect me by questioning my judgment.” Alexander lowered his gaze, alarmed at the rebuff. 

Volkov turned back to Olaf expectantly. Deeks chanced a glance at Alexander who was glaring at him once more. Great, he thought, a jilted lover.

 

As the men began to rise and clear the room, Volkov placed a hand on Deeks’s chest, indicating that he should remain. After the last man had left out the door, Volkov slid his hand further down and turned to look at Deeks. “Don’t be gone too long, my Martin. I’ll be expecting you in my room tonight.” Deeks looked up through his lashes at Volkov and responded, “I’ll hurry back.”

Deeks stood then and walked steadily out of the room, down the hall, and out the front door of the warehouse. He went to his car, slid into the driver’s seat, and drove aimlessly for a few blocks before pulling over, fumbling the door open, and emptying his stomach onto the sidewalk. Fuck.

End of Chapter 2


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

After taking a few moments to pull himself together, Deeks got back into his car and turned on his phone. He saw that he had quite a few messages, mostly from Kensi. He decided he would check in with Hetty first though and dialed her cell number.

“Mr. Deeks?” Hetty’s voice betrayed her worry.

“Sorry Hetty, this is the first chance I got to check in.” Deeks apologized.

“Are you headed into Ops?” She asked.

“Yeah, I’m headed there now. I need to be back to the warehouse by tonight though.” Deeks’s voice cracked slightly.

There was a pause on Hetty’s end. “Mr. Deeks… I can pull you out anytime. Just say the word.” She sounded pained.

“No, I…” Deeks ran a hand over his face. “I’m in control. It’s going exactly as I expected. I already have names for you guys.”

“As you wish.” Hetty changed the subject. “Kensi is going to have questions about your alias when you see her. She knows you’re in there using your real name. I told her I didn’t know the reasoning behind the choice. I’m hoping you have some idea as to what to tell her?”

“Crap. That might make things difficult. I’ll think of something. See you soon.” Deeks hung up, a crease forming between his eyebrows. Kensi.

 

(Back at NCIS)

Callen and Sam were whispering with worried looks on their faces in one corner of the bullpen, occasionally glancing over at Kensi who was furiously thumbing through LAPD case files at her desk and muttering to herself. She shot up from her seat, slamming her hands down on her desk. “There’s no mention of Deeks or Martin Brandell in any of the paperwork for this case!” Kensi cried. 

“Hetty did tell you it was redacted.” Callen commented.

“But there isn’t anything redacted from the paperwork the LAPD sent over. I can read every single word on every single one of these documents.” Kensi stared unseeingly down at the papers scattered across her desk. “What the hell is going on here?”

Sam raised his eyebrows at Callen and then turned back to look at Kensi. “Kensi, you’re making yourself crazy. Just ask Deeks about it when he checks in.”

Kensi shot a scathing glare in Sam’s direction. “And when exactly do you think that might happen? It’s been 48 hours and we haven’t heard a peep. What the hell is he doing in there?” She laid her head down on the desk.

Sam and Callen looked up to see Deeks walk into the building. “Why don’t you ask him yourself, Kensi?” Callen leaned back in his chair with relief at seeing the detective alive and unharmed. 

Kensi’s head snapped up and around to look at Deeks. Her eyes watered slightly when she looked into his eyes. She was up from her desk and standing in front of him before another second passed. “I was worried.” She said quietly, searching Deeks’s face. 

“I’m sorry, Kens, I just couldn’t get away until now.” Deeks said softly. Kensi nodded turning away and wiping her eyes. 

“Mr. Deeks,” Hetty appeared behind Deeks, “let us convene in Ops to receive your report.”

Deeks stared at Kensi, whose back was still to him, for one more moment before turning to follow after Hetty. “Right. I’m coming.”

(In Ops)

Deeks started listing out names from Volkov’s inner circle and giving details on their jobs and current assignments. The team listened quietly, growing more and more incredulous that Deeks had managed to collect so much Intel in the short time he had been undercover.

When Deeks finished with his report, the room was silent for a moment before Sam spoke up. “You got all that in 48 hours…? What the hell got Volkov to trust Martin Brandell so much?” Sam tried to keep his tone light, but he was growing suspicious that Deeks was leaving something important out.

“I’ve just got one of those faces, I guess.” Deeks joked, avoiding giving a real answer.

Kensi’s eyes narrowed as she noticed his evasion. “Deeks, why did you use the name Martin Brandell for undercover work?” She waited, watching as he turned hesitantly to face her. 

Deeks had been warned this question was coming so he was ready with an answer. While driving over, he had decided that the truth, with certain details left out, would be the best way to go. Kensi would know if he told her an outright lie now. She was watching his face carefully as he opened his mouth and launched into his explanation. “I wasn’t undercover when I first met one of Volkov’s guys. I was in my old neighborhood where everyone knew me as Martin Brandell and I ran into him by chance.” Deeks shrugged. “Later, when the LAPD needed someone on the inside of the ring, I was already in a position to help, but I had to go in as Martin Brandell since that was who I had been first introduced as. It was a weird situation.” Deeks kept his face smooth and his voice carefree as he explained. It made him feel just a little bit better that he wasn’t technically lying; he had only left out a few major details. 

Kensi seemed satisfied with his answer, the crease between her eyebrows lessening as she listened. Sam, however, remained suspicious as he watched the detective launch easily into his explanation. “What does Volkov have you doing, now that you’ve joined back up with him?” He asked, not letting his suspicion affect his speech.

Deeks kept his expression controlled as he looked at Sam. He could tell the big man wasn’t buying something about his story. He sighed internally. “He’s asked me to line up some high profile buyers for the private auction happening the day after tomorrow. That’s actually what I needed to talk to you guys about.” Deeks turned to look at Callen now. “I think you and Sam should pretend to be buyers. That way you guys can get a look inside the warehouse and help me protect the kids if anything goes down. There are going to be a few guys there that I didn’t invite, Volkov’s special guests, and I’ll need you guys to follow them after the auction.”

Callen nodded in response. “Eric, Nell, we’re going to need back stopping. Get on it. Deeks, tell us what we need to know.”

“You’re going to need to pass as big spenders and you’re also going to need to really put on a show of looking interested in the kids they present you with.” Callen and Sam grimaced at this; Deeks continued expressionlessly. “If I talk you up to Volkov, he’ll be more likely to seat you near him during the auction. But, if you do end up sitting near him, you have to be really careful; he doesn’t like not being able to get a read on new people so you need to be as straightforward as possible whenever you speak to him. That being said, don’t speak to him unless he says something to you first.” Callen and Sam raised their eyebrows. 

“He sounds like a lot of fun, this Volkov guy.” Callen joked. “Really easy to get along with.” Deeks smiled humorlessly at him.

“Callen. I was also thinking that I could convince Volkov that you control major cocaine sales in LA and get him interested in you as a supplier. He’ll like that you speak Russian and he hasn’t been able to get in touch with any large-scale cocaine dealers since he’s been back. What do you think?” Deeks looked at Callen.

“If you have enough sway to convince him to buy from someone new, go for it.” Callen glanced at Hetty, to see if she had any objections.

“Well then, Mr. Deeks, Mr. Callen, Mr. Hanna, it looks like we have quite a lot of work to do.” Hetty stated.

 

(Back in the bullpen)

Kensi was watching Deeks as he talked Callen and Sam through what would happen during the auction. There was something off about him, a tightness around his mouth, a hollowness behind his eyes. She didn’t like it. Deeks looked over at her then and frowned in response to whatever he saw in her expression. He walked over.

“Kensi?” He searched her face. “What’s wrong?”

Her lips quirked up as she tried to smile and brush off his question. “Oh I just went off into my own little world for a minute.” Deeks raised on eyebrow. 

“Kensi, what’s wrong?” Crap. He could read her like a book.

“I’m just worried about you.” She said looking down at the floor. “I’m worried about what being around those people will do to you. You seem,” she raised her eyes to meet his gaze, “off somehow.” She saw a flicker of something in Deeks’s eyes. 

“Kensi…” Kensi’s mouth went dry at the look of desperation on Deeks’s face. 

“Deeks, how much cocaine are we talking?” Callen called across the bullpen, not aware that he was interrupting.

Deeks reigned all his chaotic emotions in and then called back to Callen. “Somewhere around 25 kilos.” Kensi watched the curtains close behind his eyes, masking his thoughts once more as he turned away from her. She had a bad feeling.

End of Chapter 3


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

(Back in the warehouse)

Deeks was once again seated to Volkov’s right at the end of the long meeting table. Callen was on his way in to meet with Volkov and discuss the terms of the drug deal Deeks had facilitated. A few other business associates of Volkov were present as well to oversee the deal.

Callen was led into the room by the dark haired Russian that manned the door to the warehouse. Deeks hoped neither Volkov nor Callen noticed the lust-filled look the doorman sent in his direction. They didn’t seem to.

Callen remained standing, holding the briefcase he came in with at his side. Volkov gave him a once over before speaking. “You are Mr. Alkaev?” Callen nodded. “Martin has spoken highly of you.” Volkov smiled at Callen now. 

Callen directed a nod at Deeks in response. Volkov casually laid a hand on Deeks’s knee, noticing Callen’s gaze shift. “So.” Volkov spoke up and Callen’s eyes flashed back up to his. “I was told you would be able to secure and deliver 25 kilos by tomorrow afternoon.” 

Callen kept his face smooth, hiding his surprise at Volkov’s movement. “Yes sir. That won’t be a problem.”

“My clientele have quite refined tastes. I require some proof that your product is high quality…” Volkov tilted his head, inviting Callen to speak.

Callen stepped forward and placed the briefcase on the table. “I would expect nothing less from a man of your distinguished reputation, Mr. Volkov. I brought half a kilo with me. Please accept it as a show of good faith and have it tested at your leisure.” He stepped back from the table, gesturing that the briefcase and its contents were an offering to everyone seated around the table.

Volkov nodded at Callen and then leaned to his right, stopping with his lips centimeters from Deeks’s ear. “I like him. He speaks Russian well.” Deeks nodded, keeping his eyes trained downward. Volkov looked at Deeks just a little too long before turning back to Callen, who kept his face blank as he watched the exchange. “I will have Martin get in touch shortly if the product is up to our standards. Thank you for the gift; it is quite generous.” Volkov gestured for the doorman to escort Callen out. Callen bowed slightly before leaving the room.

“Test it.” Volkov ordered. The man closest to the briefcase slid it towards himself and clicked it open. 

 

(Outside the warehouse)

Callen walked to his car, parked up the street a ways from the warehouse. What the fuck was that? His mind was in chaos. He had quite a few questions for Hetty, but they would have to wait until he could speak to her face to face, without the rest of the team around.

Just fifteen minutes later, Callen stormed into NCIS, walking very quickly past the bullpen without even glancing in Kensi and Sam’s direction. They stopped talking abruptly as he walked by with a furious expression on his face. “Callen?” Kensi asked nervously. He kept walking, not wanting to have to even try explaining what he had just seen. He was up the stairs within moments and closing the door behind him as he entered Ops. Hetty, Nell, and Eric turned to look at him, surprised by his abrupt appearance. He kept his eyes aimed at Hetty, his eyes black with anger. 

One glance at Callen’s expression informed Hetty of the gist of what he might have seen in the warehouse. “Eric, Nell, give Mr. Callen and I the room please.” Eric and Nell exchanged a confused look before exiting Ops.

Callen was across the room and towering over Hetty as soon as they had left. “What the hell do you have Deeks in there doing, Hetty?” The venom in his voice was tangible.

Hetty sighed. Callen watched as a weariness crept over her features that he had never seen before. “What exactly did you see, Mr. Callen?” She asked tiredly.

Callen looked at her incredulously. “What did I see?” He was seething with anger again. “I saw a member of my team getting treated like a…” Callen stopped short. His voice was quiet and pleading now. “Tell me it’s not what I think, Hetty. Tell me I misunderstood.” 

Hetty shook her head sadly. “I can’t do that, Mr. Callen.”

Callen’s eyes widened as Hetty confirmed what he had feared. “Why would Deeks agree to do something like that?” He asked, sickened at the thought.

Hetty’s phone buzzed and she looked down distractedly at the screen. She looked back up at Callen. “Mr. Deeks is on his way in. He’d like to explain in person.” 

Callen nodded. “I’ll wait in here for him.” He didn’t want to have to look Kensi or Sam in the eyes right now. 

 

(In the bullpen)

Kensi and Sam exchanged worried looks as Callen stormed past them and slammed the door to Ops. They watched Nell and Eric exit a moment later looking concerned. 

“What do you think that’s about?” Kensi asked, uneasily.

“Maybe the deal didn’t work out? Volkov might have decided not to buy from him…” Sam trailed off, unsure.

They watched the door to Ops without speaking for a while. “You don’t think something happened to Deeks, right?” Kensi blurted out.

“He would have said something if it were about Deeks.” Sam assured her. 

“Yeah, you’re right.” She said, believing that there were no circumstances under which Callen would refrain from telling her something she needed to know about her partner. 

A few minutes later, the swoosh of the NCIS headquarters’ door opening had Kensi and Sam looking up to see a very serious Deeks striding into the building. His eyes were focused on the second floor landing, where he knew Callen was waiting for answers. He didn’t even register Kensi’s surprised exclamation of “Deeks!” as he strode past the bullpen and made his way up the stairs.

“Deeks…?” Kensi’s brow furrowed as Deeks blew past her. Something wasn’t right. Something definitely wasn’t right.

 

(In Ops)

Deeks’s face was cold and emotionless as he opened the door to Ops and walked in. Callen was leaning against the wall on the far side of the room and Hetty was standing next to him. They both looked up at him as he walked in. Callen’s expression was one of appalled unhappiness. Hetty appeared regretful, a look of apology on her face as she made eye contact with Deeks.

Deeks sighed. “Callen, you must have questions…” He walked over to the table at the center of Ops. “Has Hetty filled you in about my past?” He looked at Hetty who was shaking her head to indicate she had not. “Right…” Deeks looked down at his hands, splayed out on the table. “So… what I already said about working with the LAPD to bring down Volkov the last time, that wasn’t a lie. I just… intentionally left out some details.” Deeks paused before continuing. Callen remained quiet, waiting. “For instance, I wasn’t working with the LAPD as an officer, I was working as an informant.” 

Callen’s eyes shot up to meet Deeks’s now. “You… you’re saying you were working for Volkov, for the ring, as a criminal?” Callen’s voice betrayed his disgust.

“No…” Deeks’s eyes flickered to Hetty for a moment and then back to Callen. “I was… umm…” Deeks’s gaze returned to Hetty once more before dropping to the floor at his feet. “I, well, I was one of the kids being trafficked.”

Callen’s mouth popped open in shock. He looked in horror at Deeks, who raised his gaze to meet Callen’s. “You…” Callen’s eyes unfocused as he tried to process this new shocking revelation. “That’s not… but…” Callen struggled to string his words together to ask his next question. He looked at Hetty, who was frowning sadly, then back to Deeks. “How did you… But you had parents…” He trailed off, remembering what he had recently learned about Deeks having an abusive father.

“I ran away from home.” Deeks perceived Callen’s lack of surprise at this, but ignored it and continued. “One of Volkov’s guys noticed me on the streets, told me he’d pay me if I did a job for him.” Deeks’s eyes unfocused as he recalled the memory. “I was stupid enough to get in his car…” He trailed off, letting Callen and Hetty imagine for themselves what happened after that.

“How old were you?” Callen’s voice was brittle with revulsion. 

Deeks’s eyes flashed into his. “Thirteen.” 

Callen closed his eyes unhappily and then opened them in confusion as he recalled what he had seen at the warehouse. “If you were one of the kids… why is Volkov…?” Callen trailed off, not knowing how to ask his question tactfully.

Deeks sighed, understanding. “By the time I turned fourteen, I had gotten to understand how the ring worked to a certain degree. Once kids got too old, they disappeared. Once kids stopped getting bid on at auction and bringing in new clients off the streets, they disappeared.” Deeks spoke in a detached voice, as Callen and Hetty listened in horror. “I was getting too old for the normal clientele and I knew I wouldn’t last another year if I didn’t do something to protect myself.” Deeks swallowed. “So I started working Volkov.” 

Callen started pacing in response to this last statement. Deeks continued, following Callen back and forth across the room with his eyes. “Volkov took a… special interest in me. He’s gay, but not specifically into kids, so my getting older wasn’t a problem for him. I taught myself Russian; he liked that…” Deeks trailed off again.

Callen nearly gagged. Deeks continued. “Over the next couple years, Volkov got more and more attached to me. He ordered me to stop seeing clients; later, I found out he tracked down and killed a lot of my regulars.” 

Callen’s eyebrows shot up towards his hairline. “He killed them?”

“You saw how he acted at the warehouse, just because you looked at me.” Deeks responded, an almost monotone quality entering his voice and expression. 

Callen tilted his head, his brow furrowing as his memories of the events at the warehouse were colored with this new perspective. “You don’t think he’s gonna come after me because I looked at you, right?” He watched the detective shake his head with relief.

“No, he would have killed you outside the warehouse if he perceived you as a threat. He was just…” Deeks’s eyes went dull. “He was just marking his territory.” Callen blanched. Deeks continued, his eyes looking undirected. “He liked you, said you spoke Russian well. Plus the guys at the table had great things to say about your ‘product’.” Deeks smirked, raising his eyes to meet the sickened expressions on Hetty and Callen’s faces. “Anyhow, he hasn’t changed, after all these years I can still play him like a piano.” Deeks smiled at this, his eyes vacant.

END of chapter 4


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

(Still in Ops)

Callen was sick to his stomach, watching a detached Deeks talk about the horrors of his past, and now his present. He looked over at Hetty, who seemed to be stiffening into a statue as she witnessed the transformation of the detective as he spoke. They both stared at him now, waiting for the light to come back into his eyes, for the joyless smirk to leave his face. 

They were still waiting when Deeks looked at Callen and said, “That reminds me: Volkov asked me to officially confirm the order and to compliment you on the high quality of your product. He said that, in thanks for the half kilo you gifted, he’ll wave your door fee for the auction.” Callen nodded mutely, still uncomfortable with the look on Deeks’s face. Deeks continued to speak, not seeming to notice how quiet Callen and Hetty had become. “Sam will still have to pay to get in, but the door fee’s not too bad. I was thinking, though, it might be a good idea for you both to bid on a couple kids and that’s gonna cost if your bids win. The starting price is usually about ten thou… and then if there’s competition for the same kid that obviously increases the price…” Deeks trailed off, finally registering the disturbed expressions on his comrades’ faces. “What?” He asked, his expression still blank.

“Deeks…” Callen started, “You don’t need to be doing this man. This is… this whole situation is so fucked up. You can’t go back in there. You shouldn’t be anywhere near that man.” Callen could tell Deeks was going to argue. “You’re a victim! Hetty should never have let you go back in. You’re—“ 

A knock sounded on the door to Ops. The door opened a moment later and Kensi peered inside. “Guys?” She asked, registering how upset Callen and Hetty looked and the strangely blank expression on Deeks’s face. “What…?” She began to ask a question, but grew silent as Deeks looked at her with empty eyes. “Deeks?” Her voice came out as a whisper and her eyes began to fill with tears as she stood there looking at him.

Deeks blinked at Kensi’s expression, his eyes clearing as he came back into himself. “Kensi, why are you crying?” He sounded appalled. She threw herself at him, locking her arms around his neck and pulling him towards her. “What’s wrong?” He asked bewildered. Callen and Hetty both let out relieved sighs to see the detective had returned to normal.

Kensi pulled back and looked up into his bewildered face, tears still gathered in the corners of her eyes. “Somebody needs to tell me what the hell is going on.” She said angrily, glaring at Deeks with her tear-rimmed eyes. 

Deeks’s eyes widened and he stepped out of Kensi’s reach, directing his gaze away from hers. “There’s nothing to tell.” He said, his voice even, but his lie still evident.

“Deeks…” Callen put a hand on Deeks’s shoulder. “She should know. You should tell her.”

“No.” Deeks growled, glaring at Callen.

“Tell me what?” Kensi asked imploringly.

“No.” Deeks said again, his voice deadly quiet.

“Mr. Deeks.” Hetty walked over and stood in front of the detective. His eyes flickered with panic, his posture defensive. “Mr. Deeks, Ms. Blye needs to know and she should hear it from you.” 

“I… I can’t.” His voice cracked. Kensi looked on in alarm as Deeks began to visibly shake as some silent communication passed between he and Hetty. After a few long moments, Deeks closed his eyes in defeat. “Fuck.” He slowly raised his eyes to meet Kensi’s. She looked back, trying to convey that he could trust her with anything, that she could handle whatever he told her. He sighed then and looked down at the floor. “Okay, Hetty, Callen, give us the room, will you?” He sounded tired. Callen squeezed Deeks’s shoulder as he left. 

Hetty stopped and turned to look back at them after opening the door to go out. “We’ll be just outside if you need us.” She looked at Deeks and then Kensi before letting the door close behind her.

 

(In Ops with Deeks and Kensi)

Kensi walked over to Deeks, standing in front of him and waiting patiently for him to lower his gaze, which was currently aimed over her head. “Deeks, whatever it is, you can tell me. You can trust me.” There was a sadness in her voice at that last part. Didn’t he know he could trust her?

He begrudgingly lowered his eyes to meet hers, sighing in response to her words. “Kensi, I do trust you, with my life, with everything.” His gaze left hers again as he avoided her eyes. “I just don’t want to burden you with this. And…” He met her eyes again, fear in his gaze. “I’m scared you won’t look at me the same, once you know.” He swallowed as fear closed his throat.

Kensi reached up and put her hands on both sides of his face, staring evenly into his eyes. “Deeks, nothing you could tell me would be able to do that. Nothing.”

He reached up and put one of his hands over hers, his eyes softening as he decided to share the darkest part of his past with the woman he loved. 

He led her over to Nell’s desk, sitting her down in Nell’s chair before taking Eric’s seat. He decided to start from the beginning. “Kensi, you know about me shooting my dad when I was eleven.” She nodded in response. “I never told you what happened… after.” 

He looked up at her, taking a deep breath. “My dad was taken to the hospital, treated, and released. He told the police that I shot him by accident, that I was playing with a gun I got from a friend. When I told my version of what happened, no one… no one believed me.” Deeks swallowed at the ache of the memory. Kensi grabbed his hand and he continued. “So my dad came back to the house and everything that had been bad before… got worse.” Deeks’s eyes flickered as he remembered the pain. Kensi watched his face, growing pale as she realized this was only the beginning of the story he was about to tell her, realizing it was going to, somehow, get even worse. 

“One day, he came home drunk out of his mind and he went on a rampage, nearly killed my mom and I. When I came to in the hospital, I found out my mom had sustained massive brain damage and the nurse told me the doctors didn’t think she was going to wake up. My dad checked me out of the hospital and brought me home.” Deeks reached out and wiped the tear off of Kensi’s cheek with his thumb. Waiting for her to nod that she was okay before continuing. “My dad was strange after that. Sometimes he would get confused… and he would think I was my mom.” Deeks swallowed looking down at his lap.

Kensi was frozen. She hadn’t been prepared for this kind of revelation. She forced herself to unclench her jaw and ask the clarifying question she didn’t want to know the answer to. “Your dad…?” She couldn’t say the words.

“Yes.” Deeks couldn’t look at her when he answered. He continued on now, wanting to get the rest of the story out before he lost his nerve. “As soon as my injuries healed enough for me to get out of that house, I was gone. I lived on the streets for a while.” Deeks looked up at Kensi now, a warning in his eyes that she wasn’t going to like the next part of the story either. She swallowed back the bile rising in her throat. “A couple months after I turned thirteen, a car pulled up next to me and the man inside offered me money if I’d come with him back to his place to help move some stuff. I knew better than to get in a stranger’s car, but he showed me this huge wad of cash and he had a little girl in the back seat, so I got in.” Deeks shook his head, sad that he had ignored his instincts in that moment. Kensi listened with dread as he continued. “I woke up in a room with maybe thirty other kids, mostly younger than me, and that was when I first met Volkov.”

End of Chapter 5


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

(In Ops with Kensi and Deeks)

Kensi stopped breathing, the sound of her own heartbeat loud in her ears. No. No. No. She began to shake her head in denial, tears falling from her eyes as she stared into Deeks’s ocean blue eyes. He just looked back at her sadly as she tried to digest the bomb he had just dropped on her. Her whole body began to shake as she started to take deep gasping breaths. 

“Hey, Kensi, hey! Calm down, it’s alright.” Deeks pulled her towards him and she grasped onto his shirt and buried her face in his chest. “Calm down.” Deeks held her until her breathing calmed and her crying slowed to a manageable dribble. “Don’t cry for me, baby.” He said as finally released his shirt, sat back, and met his eyes once more.

“Sorry.” She croaked, wiping another stray tear that rolled down her cheek. “So then… you weren’t working undercover for the LAPD. And the people in Volkov’s organization… they know you as Martin Brandell because you hadn’t changed your name yet when they abducted you.” She clarified, hissing with anger at the end.

“Yes.” Deeks answered quietly. Her brow furrowed as she realized there was still more. “The first year I was there, I was just surviving, doing what I was told, just trying to get by.” Deeks was staring over her head again. “And then I realized what it meant that I was getting closer to fifteen every day. I realized the older I got, the more expendable I became.” Kensi was wearing the same horrified expression Callen and Hetty had worn just a little while earlier. “So I went on the offensive, looking for ways to show Volkov I could be useful even after I got too old to suit certain preferences.” Deeks stopped talking, still not looking at Kensi. 

“And you did.” She said, wondering why he had stopped talking. “That’s how you survived. That’s why Volkov hired you again so easily.” She looked searchingly at his face. What was she missing?

He looked down at his hands, resting in his lap. “No, I survived because I suited Volkov’s preferences.” Kensi nearly choked. “And Volkov hired me again so easily… because I still do.” Kensi was standing, her face frozen in shock as she looked down at Deeks.

“What…?” She asked, her voice shaking. “What are you saying?” He didn’t answer, knowing he didn’t need to. She was pacing now, her eyes flicking side to side as she thought over everything that had happened since Volkov’s picture had appeared on the screen in Ops. 

Deeks watched her out of the corner of his eye as she moved in his periphery. He still couldn’t bring himself to look at her. 

“Callen and Hetty know all of this?” She asked, her voice hard.

Deeks nodded.

“Hetty asked you to do this?” Her voice was deadly quiet now. “Out in the hall, when she requested to speak with you privately, she asked this of you?” Her eyes were fiery with hatred now.

“No, it was my idea.” Deeks admitted, cringing as Kensi charged over to where he was sitting and got in his face. 

“WHAT!?” She was yelling. 

“Kensi—“ Deeks began, his hands raised in a plea for her to listen. 

“No! I don’t want to hear anymore.” She turned away from him, her eyes glistening with tears. “I don’t want to hear anything else.” Her voice broke.

She walked unsteadily towards the door to Ops.

“Kensi, I had to.” Deeks said quietly, a plea for her to wait, to keep her promise tangible in his voice.

She paused, her hand extended towards the door handle. And then the memory from just a few days earlier flashed into her mind.

“Deeks!” Kensi called, chasing after him as he packed his things for his undercover mission. “You can’t go in alone, without back up! These guys are seriously—“ 

Deeks cut her off. “Kensi.” His eyes burned with intensity. “We’re talking about hundreds of kids being trafficked here in LA, about thousands of kids being trafficked internationally.” His voice broke slightly with emotion as he turned his back to her then. “I’m the only one that can do this, the only one. I have to go. I have to.”

She let her hand fall to her side and slowly turned back around to look at the man she loved, his eyes clouded with fear that she wouldn’t understand, that she would walk out and leave him. Her heart nearly broke at the sight. She was back across the room, falling to her knees in front of him, looking into his scared eyes. I’m sorry. I won’t leave you. I know. I know. Please don’t look like that. I won’t abandon you. And then a fresh wave of tears came. “I know you did.” She sobbed. “For all those kids going through what you did, I know you did.” She rested her forehead against his, closing her eyes.

 

(In the bullpen)

Callen had fallen into his chair, his mind still reeling from what he had learned. He glanced up at the door to Ops. He couldn’t even imagine how Kensi was going to handle the news. 

“Callen!” Sam yelled. Callen jumped.

“What!? What!?” He asked, putting a hand over his heart. “Geez, Sam, you scared the shit out of me!” He blew out a breath, his heart beating a mile a minute from the surprise.

“I’ve been calling your name for the last five minutes, man.” Sam had one eyebrow raised.

“Oh, sorry.” Callen looked away from his partner, his eyes flickering involuntarily back up to the door to Ops.

“Okay, what’s going on?” Sam said in frustration, slamming his hand down on his desk. “Everyone is acting so friggin’ weird.”

“Uh…” Callen had no idea what to tell his partner. “Umm…” His eyes flicked back up to Ops once more, his focus still on what was happening inside.

“Dude!” Sam yelled. 

Callen’s eyes bounced back to meet Sam’s. “Um…”

Sam rolled his eyes in annoyance. “Where’s Hetty?”

“Dunno man.” Callen said distractedly, back to watching the Ops door.

Sam stood up and walked over to see if Hetty was at her desk. She was there, but her mind seemed to be elsewhere as she was staring unseeingly down at a no-longer-steaming cup of tea. His eyebrows furrowed and he approached her. 

“Hetty?” Sam asked hesitantly.

She looked up at him, her mind still elsewhere. “What can I help you with, Mr. Hanna?”

“You can tell me what happened at the warehouse that’s got everyone acting all funny.” He said bluntly.

Hetty looked over her glasses at him. “I’m afraid that won’t be possible at this time, Mr. Hanna.”

“And why is that?” Sam asked annoyed.

“We’ve a drug deal and an auction to prepare for.” She answered frankly.

 

(NCIS headquarters)

Callen and Sam were in wardrobe, trying on suits, when Kensi and Deeks emerged from Ops. Kensi was holding Deeks’s hand, pulling him along after her down the stairs, a determined look on her face. Deeks was looking mildly stunned and kept shooting searching glances at Kensi, as if to check that her previous anger had not returned.

“There you two are.” Sam said, exasperatedly. “Deeks, you’re the expert; do we look like we’d buy kids at an auction?” He joked, gesturing at his and Callen’s suits.

A stunned silence fell over Callen, Hetty, Kensi, and Deeks at Sam’s words. Sam looked back and forth between the shocked expressions on his teammates’ faces. “What?” 

End of Chapter 6


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

(At the auction site)

“Don’t be scared. Everything’s going to be alright.” Deeks tried to comfort two crying children, a boy and a girl. “No one’s going to hurt you.” He whispered. They nodded bleakly in response. Just a little longer. Just hold it together a little bit longer. 

He stood up and watched as one of Volkov’s goons put a hand on each of the children’s shoulders and walked them toward the curtained off area next to the stage. He took a steadying breath. The auction was about to start. 

Callen and Sam were seated at the same table, about two meters from the front table, at which Volkov was seated with a tall blonde man. Volkov was laughing raucously at something the man had to say about the subject matter of the binder lying open on the table. Callen and Sam had received similar binders, filled with pictures and information about the children being featured in the night’s show. They both grimaced at Volkov’s laugh, glad they didn’t know what was said to inspire it.

Deeks was rushing around, leading guests to their seats and handing out binders, then ducking behind the curtains blocking off the area next to she stage, only to pop back out to consult Volkov about something in whispered conversation. Callen kept anxiously shooting furtive glances at Sam to see if he had noticed anything amiss between Deeks and Volkov, but Sam seemed to be far too concerned with scanning the faces of the incoming guests to pay Deeks and Volkov any attention. 

“Check out the guy in the corner.” Sam motioned with a jerk of his head at one of the guests. “He’s just staring at Volkov; he hasn’t looked at his binder once or talked to anyone here. There must be ten empty glasses at his table…” 

Callen looked to where Sam was indicating and followed the man’s gaze to where it was resting, not on Volkov, but on Deeks, who was currently bending down to receive another whispered order in his ear. Deeks nodded in response and moved towards where the room exited into the hall. The man in the corner followed Deeks with his eyes as the detective opened the door and slid out into the hall.

“Sam, he’s following Deeks.” Callen whispered, shifting in his seat with agitation as the man in the corner stood and moved towards the exit after Deeks. 

“You’re right…” Sam furrowed his brows, looking at the exit. “What do you think? Should one of us follow?”

The lights dimmed in the room, then, and the stage was illuminated. A tiny girl with pigtails was walked on stage and the man accompanying her began listing her attributes. 

“Damn, someone’s bound to notice if one of us gets up and leaves now.” Callen whispered tensely.

“Guess Deeks is on his own…” Sam said, only slightly troubled. He turned his attention back to the stage. “Don’t worry about it; there’s nothing we can do. Plus, what’s the guy gonna do in a public hallway, anyway?”

 

(In the hallway)

Deeks had to hunt down the two men that were supposed to be manning the door to the auction room. They turned out to be down the hall a ways, taking turns leaning out an open window and puffing on a shared cigarette.

“Volkov wants you guys outside the warehouse; he doesn’t want to be surprised by any unwelcome visitors.” Deeks said to them in Russian. The one holding the cigarette took a last puff before letting the stub fall out of his hand onto the ground outside. Both men shot him dirty looks before starting back down the hall to their newly assigned posts.

Deeks started to turn back towards the auction room, when he paused. He sighed and walked over to the window, leaning through and reaching down to properly put out the smoldering cigarette butt. 

He gasped as he was yanked back into the hallway by the back of his jeans. He stumbled backwards, tripping over his feet until he ran into the opposite wall. 

“Shit. Ow!” He yelped, his hand flying to the back of his head where it had hit the wall. He froze, then, as the man in front of him leaned in too close and blew out a hot, alcohol-scented breath right into his face. Deeks recoiled slightly.

“Hey man, the auction’s back that way.” He said, trying to keep his voice light. 

The man laughed, swinging his arms forward and putting his hands on the wall on both sides of Deeks’s head. “But the party’s right here.” He breathed, his unfocused eyes darkening with anticipation.

Deeks placed a hand on the man’s chest and pushed him back. “No, it’s definitely not.” He said, his eyes flickering up and down the hallway, worried someone might have seen.

The man wasn’t listening, now resting one hand on Deeks’s lower back and snaking the other under his shirt. Deeks quickly caught the man’s wrists, stopping his progress. The man swayed tipsily. “Sir, let’s just get you back to your table, alright.” Deeks led the man back into the auction and to his seat, where he obediently plopped down in his chair.

Deeks sighed with relief. Crisis averted. He headed back over to check on the kids.

 

(In the auction room)

Callen was practically twitching with impatience as he waited for Deeks to come back into the room, his eyes trained on the door. Meanwhile, Sam was watching the auction with tight eyes. He blinked, his focus shaken, as a pale, twenty-something year old guy knocked his chair on his way over to Volkov. 

Alexander crouched down next to Volkov, waiting for permission to talk. Volkov noticed him after a moment, gesturing lazily for him to speak. “Mr. Volkov, sir, I thought you might want to know: I just saw your friend, Martin, and one of the guests feeling each other up in the hallway.” Alexander tattled, trying to keep the excitement out of his voice at his opponent’s screw up.

Volkov was suddenly gripping the edge of his table very hard, his knuckles turning white. He slowly looked down into Alexander’s childishly eager face and watched the expression there change into one of fear. “Did you now?” He asked, his voice sickly sweet. He turned in his chair, then, to see Martin Brandell escorting one of his guests back into the auction room from the hall. 

End of Chapter 7


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

(In the auction room)

Callen breathed a sigh of relief as Deeks reentered the auction room. His feeling of relief was quickly replaced with confusion as he noticed Deeks’s companion was the man who had followed him out of the room. He watched as Deeks led the man over to his table and pushed him lightly into his chair. Sam was watching too, one eyebrow raised.

“What do you think that’s about?” Sam asked. 

Deeks rubbed the back of his head as he walked back over to the curtained off area. “Think something happened?” Callen asked, noticing the detective wince slightly at the contact.

Sam wasn’t paying attention to Deeks, however, and was instead watching the man at the table, who was now looking up to see who was tapping him on the shoulder. Two of Volkov’s guys were standing over him. One of them said something and took the man by the arm, half dragging him out of the room. The other man followed behind, turning to nod at Volkov, before exiting.

“Ok, I guess something did happen then…” Callen said, noticing where Sam was looking. 

“What could have happened?” Sam asked, confused. “He was only in the hallway for maybe a few minutes…”

Deeks emerged from the curtained area now, his eyes falling on the empty table. He paled at the sight, and turned slowly to look at Volkov. 

Volkov was staring back coldly, his head cocked slightly to the left as he watched Deeks’s reaction. Then another one of Volkov’s men appeared at Deeks’s side, taking hold of his arm and escorting him firmly towards the exit of the auction room.

“Something’s going down.” Callen said, now perched on the edge of his seat. 

“If we jump the gun and make a scene, some of these pricks are going to slip through the cracks. We have to play it cool,” Sam said, tensely, “wait till the end of the auction, when SWAT storms the building.”

“Shit!” Callen watched Volkov stand up and exit the auction room as well. “I have a bad feeling.” 

 

(In another room)

Volkov walked into the room, not immediately looking down at the man kneeling on the floor. He was seething with rage, his hands opening and closing as if he were wringing the man’s neck.

“Waz goin’ on?” The man asked, too out of it to be scared. Volkov’s eyebrows furrowed as he turned and focused his gaze on the drunken mess of a man in front of him. This was the man Martin was supposedly fooling around with in the hallway?

He looked a moment longer before asking with slight consternation, “Can you tell me what happened in the hallway, when you left the auction?”

The man looked up at Volkov blearily. “Followed the blonde fella out an’ …” His eyes went slightly cross-eyed as he tried to remember. “He was leanin’ out a window. He’s got a nice ass.” 

Volkov scowled and asked icily. “And then what happened?”

“Made my move, real smooth like.” The man smiled and then hiccupped, his eyes half closing as he wobbled in response. Volkov glared. “But… he wasn’ any fun.” He hiccupped again.

Volkov stared, his anger discipating. “I see.” He turned away from the man and headed for the door, the corner of his mouth raised in a partial smile. No fun, hmm?

 

(In yet another room)

Deeks was pacing back and forth when Volkov entered the room, closing the door behind him. He looked up at Volkov, who looked evenly back.

“Is there something you want to tell me, Martin?” Volkov said in a stern voice, tilting his head slightly as he waited for an answer.

“I didn’t think it was worth bothering you about, sir.” Deeks said quietly, lowering his eyes to the floor.

“You didn’t think I’d want to know about one of my guests attacking you?” Volkov asked, walking over to Deeks and tilting his chin up with his hand. He looked into Martin Brandell’s face greedily.

“It was nothing, really, sir. He was completely hammered. I talked him down and walked him back to his seat, no harm done.” Deeks said, a plea in his voice for Volkov to let the matter go.

Volkov’s eyes darkened. “Another man touching what’s mine?” He caressed Deeks’s cheek. His voice was heavy with the threat of physical pain as he answered his own question. “No, that’s something I won’t tolerate.” Volkov placed a finger on Deeks’s mouth as he opened it to speak. “Do not worry yourself about it any further.” 

Deeks gauged Volkov’s expression and then nodded when he saw no compromise there. “Yes, sir.” With any luck, Volkov wouldn’t have a chance to do any real damage to the man between then and the SWAT team’s raid at the end of the auction anyway.

“Good.” Volkov let his hand fall from Deeks’s lips, stepping closer so that his erection pressed into the detective’s hip. “Now, before we return to the auction…” 

 

(Back in the auction room)

Callen and Sam were both fidgeting restlessly in their seats as they took turns glancing at the exit. The auction was coming to a close, with only a few children left on the roster, and both Deeks and Volkov were still MIA.

“Damn it!” Callen exclaimed, his voice only loud enough for Sam to hear. “You don’t think Volkov got tipped off about Deeks do you?” He asked worriedly.

“If he knows about Deeks, chances are he knows about the raid that’s about to happen too.” Sam said, scanning the room for signs that any of the guests knew what was coming. “But, based on body language, it doesn’t look like anyone in this room has a clue…”

Callen looked around too. “Volkov could have gotten tipped off about the raid during the auction. Maybe, he just took off on his own to avoid getting caught?”

“What about Deeks? If he only got tipped off about the raid and was running, why would he bother with Deeks?” Sam asked, shaking his head.

Callen’s eyes flickered nervously to look at Sam and then away again. “We’re jumping to conclusions. We don’t know Volkov received a tip off about anything having to do with the operation. It could have been about something else completely.” Callen reasoned. 

“Why else would Volkov want to see Deeks alone?” Sam wondered. 

Callen blanched, looking at the exit with fresh worry. I can think of a reason…

END of Chapter 8


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

(In the other room)

“Sir, the auction should be ending anytime now. You’ll be wanting to be there to see your guests off.” Deeks said, fixing his collar. 

Volkov was standing behind him. He closed the gap and wrapped his arms around Deeks, resting his head on Deeks’s shoulder. “Yes, I suppose I need to get back.” He breathed in his ear. Volkov loosened his grip and Deeks made to walk towards the door. And then the detective felt the tip of a needle stab into his neck and enter his carotid artery. He raised a hand to his neck, stumbling slightly as he the drug took effect immediately. Volkov caught Deeks mid-fall and lowered him carefully to the floor so that he was kept partially upright by the wall. “Don’t worry.” Volkov said looking affectionately into Deeks’s shocked eyes. “I just don’t want any other guests getting an eyeful. I’ll come fetch you after the attendees for the auction have all left.” Volkov stood up and adjusted his tie, turning to leave with a slight smirk on his face.

BANG! The door was kicked in suddenly and three SWAT members ran into the room, all of their guns aimed at Volkov, who’s smirk was instantly gone. 

“Hands up.” One of them said, approaching Volkov to pat him down for weapons. Volkov held his hands in the air, his face expressionless, seething with quiet anger. His gun was removed along with the knife in his belt. 

He held perfectly still as his hands were cuffed behind his back, saying nothing, until another one of the SWAT guys squatted down next to Deeks and reached out a hand to check his pulse. Then he was spitting with fury. “Don’t you fucking touch him! Keep your filthy hands off!” The last SWAT guy rushed forward to help the first restrain Volkov as he lunged forward. The SWAT guy next to Deeks paused briefly, alarmed by the potency of Volkov’s anger, and then checked the detective’s pulse. Volkov continued spitting profanities as he was forcibly removed from the room.

The remaining member of SWAT pressed a button on his com. “We’ve got a man down through the fourth door past the auction room. He’s semi-conscious. I think he might need an EMT.”

A slight commotion ensued on the other side of the line. Then the SWAT captain’s voice, sounding slightly exasperated, came online. “Yes, yes I’ll ask him.” The captain’s voice was louder now as he purposefully spoke into the com. “Is it one of our men inside, from NCIS?” 

“He doesn’t look like an agent…” The SWAT guy replied dubiously. “Looks more like a surfer than an agent.” He continued.

He heard more commotion on the other end. “Alright, alright!” The captain said to whoever was making a ruckus in the background. Then he was speaking into the com again. “That matches the description for the undercover officer from LAPD. Sit tight. One of NCIS’s people is headed over now.”

“Roger that, sir.” 

\-----------------------------------------------------------

(In the auction room)

“This little beauty is only eight years old. She is a natural blonde and has beautiful blue eyes…” The man on stage proclaimed, gesturing at the tiny girl on stage.

“Where the fuck is SWAT?” Sam asked, his voice full of venom as he watched the man on the stage. “If I have to listen to this asshole for one more minute I’m going to start shooting people.” His hand grasped uselessly at the place on his hip that his gun usually occupied. “Or,” he breathed out angrily, “I suppose, since I’m unarmed, I’ll have to settle with beating these perverts senseless instead.”

Callen was similarly minded as he further tensed in preparation for the entrance of SWAT into the auction room. “Sam, since Deeks still isn’t here,” Callen forced himself not to think about the implications of the detective’s absence and continued, “we need to get over to the kids when everything goes down.” Sam nodded in agreement, his eyes not leaving the little girl on the stage.

A slight scuffle in the hall, which went completely unnoticed by the guests in the auction room, gave Sam and Callen a few seconds’ warning before SWAT came crashing through the auction room doors. Both men were immediately moving, Callen towards the curtained off area and Sam directly towards the stage. Before any of the guests or Volkov’s men could react, seven SWAT agents had rushed into the room. Sam reached the little girl on the stage, whispering comforting words as he picked her up and moved her out of SWAT’s line of fire. Callen had a knife held at the throat of the man behind the curtain, who was in charge of the kids. SWAT moved through the room, checking for and securing all weapons. More SWAT agents entered in a second wave and began cuffing the guests and leading them out of the room. 

Callen and Sam met in the center of the room after everything had calmed down a bit. “That was almost sort of… I don’t know… anticlimactic…” Callen said watching SWAT agents mill about the room busily.

“Scuse me!” Kensi’s annoyed voice emanated from the auction room doorway as she squeezed past a SWAT agent escorting a cuffed guest out the door. Callen and Sam looked up to see her making her way quickly towards them, her eyes scanning the faces of the other people left in the room. She was still looking around as she asked, “Where’s Deeks?”

Callen and Sam exchanged looks. “We’re not sure.” Callen said, his previous worries reentering his mind. “He was escorted out by one of Volkov’s people a while ago. Volkov left right after. Neither of them came back in…” 

Kensi stared at Callen in horror. “Why didn’t one of you go after them?” She asked, her voice, already layered with anxiety, now taking on an accusing edge. 

“We couldn’t leave after the auction started. It would have been too suspicious; we would have blown the op.” Sam answered calmly, knowing Kensi was just reacting out of worry.

Kensi looked back and forth between the two, her face pale with unease. “Where is he?” She squeaked fearfully. 

The captain of SWAT was talking to one of his guys near the stage area when a report came through on his com. “We’ve got a man down through the fourth door past the auction room. He’s semi-conscious. I think he might need an EMT.”

The captain had only just pressed the button on his own com in order to respond when Kensi appeared at his side, her voice rising in pitch as she cried, “That could be Deeks! Ask him if—“ 

The captain cut her off, holding a hand up. “Yes, yes I’ll ask him.” He turned to his com. “Is it one of our men inside, from NCIS?”

Kensi stared down at the com, holding her breath. The sound of static came from the com, followed by the voice of the SWAT agent on the other end. “He doesn’t look like an agent…” There was a pause. “Looks more like a surfer than an agent.” 

Kensi laughed slightly hysterically in relief. “That’s Deeks! That’s him!” She was practically hanging on the SWAT captain’s arm. “Is he alright? Ask him if he’s alright!” Kensi ordered, her voice squeaking with anxiety once more.

“Alright, alright!” The SWAT captain capitulated immediately, but his annoyance at being ordered around by NCIS was palpable. He spoke into the com, his voice returning to its usual authoritative state. “That matches the description for the undercover officer from LAPD. Sit tight. One of NCIS’s people is headed over now.” 

“Roger that, sir.” The SWAT agent replied. 

He turned his com off. “Your man is in the fourth room…“ The captain trailed off as he realized that Kensi was already gone. 

 

(In the hallway)

Kensi barely noticed Callen and Sam on her tail as she ran full tilt out the door of the auction room and down the hallway. Please be okay. Please be okay. 

She skidded to a halt as she came to the fourth door down from the auction room. Her hand trembled as she reached for the doorknob, twisted, and pushed inside.

Kensi froze, her insides going cold as she took in the sight of Deeks slumped against the wall. She nearly tripped over the SWAT guy as she ambled unseeingly over to Deeks’s side. She was already on her knees, whispering his name fearfully, when Callen and Sam came through the door. They both stopped short, looking on with dread at the scene before them.

“Deeks? Oh God, Deeks?” Kensi was crying as she called his name. “Please open your eyes.” She gripped his hand tightly, starting at his face.

His eyes fluttered slightly at her voice and he let his head roll to the side slightly so he was facing her. “Kensi.” He breathed quietly, his eyes opening slowly to reveal pupils the size of dinner plates.

END of Chapter 9


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

(In the room four doors down from the auction room)

“Deeks.” Kensi was crying, her hands resting on both sides of Deeks’s face. “Deeks, look at me.” Deeks’s eyes opened infinitesimally. “Deeks, do you know what Volkov gave you?” 

“Dunno.” He said, his eyes going unfocused. His limbs felt heavy, like gravity was suddenly too much for his muscles. He just wanted to fall into the oblivion at his finger tips.

“Deeks! Stay with me.” Kensi cried, seeing him start to fade. He fought the urge to close his eyes.

“… somethin’.” He mumbled, his mouth barely able to form the words.

“What?” Kensi asked leaning in so her ear was closer to his mouth.

“Injected somethin’.” Deeks managed to whisper. 

Kensi bolted upright, turning to look back at the inscrutable faces of Callen and Sam, who were still standing statue-like in the doorway. “He said Volkov injected something.” She said, her eyes wide and horrified.

Callen jumped into action, crouching down next to Deeks and taking his pulse. He paused, counting the beats of his friend’s heart. “Deeks, buddy, are you having any trouble breathing?” Callen asked, leaning in to hear the detective’s answer. 

“A bit.” Deeks whispered, his eyes fluttering as he fought to stay awake.

Callen sat up, his eyes moving back and forth as if he was reading directly from his memory. “It looks like a bad reaction to heroin…” Callen said, his voice rough with suppressed emotions. 

Kensi was clutching Deeks’s hand, staring at him as he grew increasingly paler. She looked up at Sam, her voice hoarse but forceful. “Sam, make yourself useful and go get the fucking paramedics.” Sam unfroze in response and took off at a dead sprint through the door into the hall.

“Keep breathing, buddy. Help’s coming.” Callen said, grasping Deeks’s other hand. He and Kensi were waiting for what felt like an eternity, watching Deeks grow paler, his breathing grow shallower. Deeks just looked up at Kensi, finding strength to stay awake in her tear-rimmed, determined eyes.

And then from the hallway they heard the sound of a gurney being wheeled at breakneck speed along with the sound of Sam yelling “This way! In here!” After the gurney came to a screeching halt outside the door, the paramedics ran inside, kneeling next to Callen and Kensi. 

Callen and Kensi quickly relayed the little information they had to the paramedics, neither taking their eyes off the detective as they spoke. They watched as the lead paramedic administered Naloxone to combat the effects of the heroin in Deeks’s system. Both waited with bated breath to see if his breathing improved, neither letting go of his hand as the paramedics stood to fetch the gurney. 

Sam and Callen helped the paramedics lift Deeks onto the gurney. Kensi held his hand and refused to take her eyes off of him. Then they were moving down the hallway, out through the warehouse doors, and into the back of the waiting ambulance. Kensi climbed aboard automatically, still not releasing her grip on Deeks’s hand. Callen and Sam watched in silence, their faces drawn with worry, as the ambulance doors closed and the vehicle pulled away from them.

 

(In the ambulance)

Deeks opened his eyes, sending a loving look Kensi’s way. He raised his hand to pull the breathing mask away from his face, so he could speak.

Kensi opened her mouth to protest, but Deeks spoke before she could. “I’m feeling better already, Kens.” 

Kensi looked hopefully at the paramedic, who nodded in response and said, “Naloxone works fast. It looks like we got it into your system in time, detective.” 

Kensi sighed in relief, looking back at Deeks, who was smiling faintly at her. “I’m not going anywhere, babe.” He said. 

Kensi laughed in relief, wiping her eyes. She reached over and helped him put the breathing mask back on. “Don’t talk too much; you’ll ruin the moment.” She joked lightly, the cold feeling finally starting to recede from her fingers and toes, as the corners of Deeks’s mouth lifted at her humor. “Just rest now. I’ll be here when you wake up.” Kensi said in a soothing voice, brushing Deeks’s bangs out of his eyes. He fell into an exhausted slumber almost immediately. She watched him sleep, the chaos in her mind quieting to a peaceful hum.

 

(In Deeks’s hospital room)

Kensi, Callen, and Sam were all sitting around Deeks’s hospital bed when the detective came to. They were chattering lightly, the earlier tension almost completely gone from their voices. Kensi was the first to notice that Deeks was awake. “Hey, you’re awake.” She smiled at him. 

“Looks like it.” He said, smiling back. He looked at Callen and Sam. “How did it go? Did we get all the major players? Were the kids alright?”

Sam and Callen nodded in concert. “We got every last one of them.” Callen grinned. 

“And all the kids are fine. They’re all getting new identities under Witsec protocol.” Sam added.

The two men exchanged looks. Callen turned to Deeks. “Deeks, what happened with Volkov? Why did he…?” He trailed off as Deeks grimaced.

Deeks sighed, eyeing Sam with apprehension. Kensi and Callen exchanged unhappy looks, both knowing what his apprehension at speaking in front of Sam meant. Sam’s brow furrowed. “What is it? What don’t I know?” 

Deeks began to speak, deciding he trusted Sam enough to clue him in. “I don’t know how much you and Callen caught of what was going on; the auction room was pretty chaotic. But Volkov sent me into the hall to tell the guys manning the door to head outside to help keep a look out in front of the warehouse. While I was in the hall, one of the guests… sort of attacked me.” 

Deeks paused as all three of his teammates sputtered out alarmed queries. “What!? Why!?”

“He was completely drunk off his ass.” Deeks responded, not really answering the question. “Anyhow, I talked him down and walked him back to his seat.” Deeks shrugged. “It wouldn’t have been a big deal, except someone told Volkov.” He frowned, looking down at his sheets.

“So… what?” Sam asked, confused. Callen and Kensi were stony faced.

Deeks sighed, rubbing the back of his head where the bruise from earlier was throbbing. “So Volkov overreacted, got all upset. Did you find the guy?” He asked, changing direction suddenly.

“Yeah, he’s somewhere in this hospital…” Callen answered quietly.

Deeks sighed, but nodded, unsurprised. 

Sam was looking back and forth between Deeks and Callen. “Wait… I’m obviously missing something here. Why would Volkov be upset about a guest attacking one of his employees? I mean, you look fine Deeks, you said you talked him down and led him back to his seat. So… what’s the big deal? Why would Volkov even care?” Sam raised his eyebrows at the silence that followed.

“Ugh, I almost wish you guys had just told him while I was sleeping. Then I wouldn’t have to deal with having this conversation again.” Deeks complained, moving to sit up in his bed. Kensi rushed over to help.

Once he was situated, he launched into the story of his past once more. Sam listened, his expression hardening into one of horrified disbelief the longer Deeks spoke. Sam didn’t ask any questions; he only stared, his eyes flashing with anger at every mention of Volkov’s name.

Deeks found it was easier to recount his story, even the painful parts, with Kensi and Callen stationed supportively to both sides of him as he spoke. When he finished, he looked up at Sam tentatively, waiting for the big man to say something.

But Sam wasn’t looking at Deeks. Instead he was glaring at Callen and Kensi, his eyes flickering back and forth between the two of them. “You two knew about this and you let him go undercover anyway!? What kind of friends are you!?” 

END of Chapter 10


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

(In Deeks’s hospital room)

Deeks jumped in immediately. “Sam, it wasn’t like that. I had to do this; I was the only one who could get the information we needed. It was my idea from the beginning.” Sam still looked furious. “Callen and Kensi both reacted the same way you are now, but they came around when they saw how important it was for me to help those kids.” Deeks’s voice was anxious, his eyes pleading. 

Sam calmed slightly, looking at Deeks now. “It’s not that I don’t understand why you felt like you needed to do this, Deeks.” His eyes burned. “I just hate that you had to. It’s not right. There are lines, personal lines, that no person should have to cross in order to do their job. You shouldn’t have had to take this on.” He sighed. “But I guess it all worked out. We got the sons of bitches.” Callen and Kensi smiled at that, their smiles widening when Deeks flashed his signature toothy grin. Even Sam couldn’t keep the corners of his mouth from twitching upwards in response.

By the time Hetty arrived at the hospital, all of her agents were laughing like their old selves. She entered the room, the look on her face immediately silencing their laughter.

“What is it, Hetty?” Kensi asked, her voice serious.

Hetty answered, her voice betraying her stress. “A group of men took down the SWAT van transporting Volkov. He’s in the wind.” She looked at Deeks, whose EKG registered the sudden increase in his heart rate. The rest of the teams closed ranks around him, their expressions serious and determined.

Callen spoke up first. “And what are we doing about it?” 

 

(In an NCIS safe house at an undisclosed location)

“You must be cheating!” Callen shook his head in disbelief, throwing his cards down on the table in disgust. “This is ridiculous. I hate playing cards with you.” Sam laughed, sweeping the pot towards himself. 

“Deeks, eat something, won’t you. You’re making me worry.” Kensi nagged in the background. 

Deeks was lounging on the sofa, still slightly worn out from his ordeal. “I’m too tired to eat right now.” His eyelids drooped and he drifted.

Kensi sat down on the floor, leaning back against the couch so that her head was by Deeks’s. She watched him sleep for a while, her own eyes closing and her head falling back as her body finally calmed enough for her to sleep.

(In an NCIS safe house at an undisclosed location)

The next day, Callen and Sam were in and out of the safe house, heading out to make calls to Hetty or Eric or Nell. They never travelled far, though, having taken it upon themselves to provide Deeks with a twenty-four hour guard. Kensi rarely left Deeks’s side, pestering him to eat every few hours and watching over him as he slept. 

As the sun began to set, the team sat around the dining room table, their frustration at the lack of leads on Volkov palpable. 

“How can he just have vanished into thin air?” Sam asked no one in particular.

“He’s got powerful friends all over the world.” Deeks pointed out, scowling at the thought. “He managed to trick the FBI into thinking he was dead for years. That takes serious connections.”

They were all quiet and thoughtful after that. 

Callen wondered where Volkov might have gone. Perhaps out of the country by now, he could be anywhere in the world. 

Sam thought about how Volkov might have avoided detection. If he was still in the country, where could he be hiding out while the FBI, LAPD, and NCIS searched for him? 

Kensi thought about all of the kids that were now in the witness protection program being assigned to new homes. She pictured a young blonde haired, blue eyed boy going through the same relocation process many years before. 

Deeks worried. He worried that, if Volkov was still in the country, he would be looking for him. By now, Volkov likely knew that Martin Brandell was in fact detective Marty Deeks, the LAPD liaison. And if Volkov knew that, he would be out for revenge. And if Deeks knew anything from the time he had spent with Volkov, it was that he was a dangerous enemy to have.

 

(In the not-so-safe NCIS safe house at a location that apparently was disclosed…)

The house was quiet, with only the gentle creaking of its architecture to be heard. Kensi and Deeks were asleep on the couches in the main room, Callen and Sam having decided not to wake them. Sam was asleep in the small bedroom at the end of the hall. Callen was seated at the kitchen table in the dark, his gun laying in front of him on the table, his mind wandering. He was on watch duty.

Callen sat up straight as he heard the sound of a van pulling up outside the house, his hand on his gun. “Guys.” He hissed, moving towards where Kensi and Deeks were sleeping. Kensi looked at Callen sleepily, his expression had her jumping up, her eyes suddenly alert and wary, her gun at the ready. Deeks, rolled onto his feet as well, grabbing his gun off the ottoman. Sam appeared in the hallway a moment later, wielding his gun. They waited, their weapons aimed at the door. 

Suddenly, the sound of multiple windows being broken was accompanied by tear gas grenades being thrown inside the house. The agents dropped to the floor, covering their mouths and noses as best they could with their shirts, coughing as the tear gas made its way into their airways anyway. A van-full of men wearing gas masks stormed the room, relieving the NCIS agents of their weapons and dragging them roughly out of the safe house. 

The men in gas masks zip-cuffed their hands behind their backs and pushed them so they fell to their knees lined up next to each other. Only then did a second van pull up to the safe house, a man stepping out and walking over to where the agents were. 

Callen, Kensi, and Sam watched in horror as Volkov made his way towards them, his eyes focused on the detective. Deeks felt his stomach drop as he read the expression on Volkov’s face. 

Pain was coming.

END of Chapter 11


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

(Outside the not-so-safe house)

Volkov approached, his eyes locked on Deeks. Deeks looked back, doing his best not to let his fear show on his face. His eyes dropped as Volkov got closer, his brain whirring as he tried to think of a way to save the lives of his teammates. 

Volkov stood in front of him, reaching down with one hand to tilt the detective’s head up. He spoke in Russian, his voice playful, with malicious undertones. “Martin, I missed your face.” His eyes moved over Deeks’s features greedily. “I hear, though, that you were less than honest with me.” His eyes flashed with anger. “You won’t like the consequences.” He let his hand drop, taking a step back, his eyes darkening. “Shoot those three.” He indicated with a careless nod in Kensi, Callen, and Sam’s direction.

“That would be a mistake.” Deeks interjected, responding automatically in Russian, as Volkov’s men raised their weapons.

“Is that right?” Volkov sneered, a slightly incredulous smile on his face as he turned to look at Deeks.

“Yes. After all, you don’t want to kill your only leverage.” Deeks answered evenly, his words carefully selected. He tilted his head slightly, peering back at Volkov who was looking back with narrowed eyes.

“I don’t need leverage, Martin.” Volkov responded coldly.

“If you kill them, I’ll have no reason to do what you say.” Deeks smirked now, feigning self-assurance, his eyes dulling as he got into character. “And you won’t have nearly as much fun if I’m non-compliant.” 

Volkov stared back at Deeks, slightly stunned, his mouth settling into a less than thrilled scowl. “Do you think you can play with me, Martin?” He whispered, still shocked by Deeks’s brazenness.

Deeks leaned forward slightly so he was looking up through his lashes as Volkov. “I guess we’ll see.”

Volkov gaped at Deeks, surprised by the physical reaction the detective was still able to call forth in him. And then Volkov turned to his men, who awaited his order, their guns held at the ready. “Load those three into the van.” He looked back at Deeks, his eyes narrowed. “He rides with me.” Volkov strode over to his personal transport and got in on the passenger side.

Deeks closed his eyes, sitting back on his heels and breathing a sigh of relief. He looked over at his teammates, seeing the confused looks on Sam and Kensi’s faces and the horrorstruck expression on Callen’s. 

“Deeks…” Callen croaked, his voice tight with emotion, his eyes dismayed.

Deeks smiled sadly at him, knowing Callen was the only one who had understood the agreement he had just made with Volkov. And then Deeks looked at each of them, his eyes burning with determination. “You guys stay alive until I figure out a way to break us out.” 

One of Volkov’s guys yanked Deeks to his feet and walked him over to the van Volkov was sitting in, shoving him into the back seat.

Kensi was frozen, everything moving too quickly around her. She looked on as the man she loved disappeared into the back of Volkov’s van, her mind spinning at the thought that it might be the last glimpse of him she’d ever get. She was being pulled onto her feet. Callen and Sam were saying something to her. She couldn’t understand, their words jumbling together into an unintelligible string. Her thoughts were incoherent as they bounced around her brain like balls in a pinball machine. This can’t be happening. 

Minutes passed before Kensi was able to look up at Callen and Sam and register that they were now in the back of the other van. Callen and Sam were watching her worriedly. 

“What… what just happened?” Kensi asked, her voice uneven.

“Deeks just saved our lives.” Callen said sadly. “But he had to make a deal with the devil to do it.” 

They all sat in silence for the rest of the van ride.

When they arrived and the van pulled to a stop, the three agents were unloaded and led into the back door of a nondescript building. They were escorted down a hallway and into a room with a no windows or furniture, only a single light bulb in the middle of the ceiling to provide light. Volkov’s men locked the door behind them as they left.

Kensi, Callen, and Sam helped each other remove their zip cuffs using a sharp piece of rebar sticking out of one of the walls. Then they explored, looking for anything in the room they could use as a weapon, for any weakness in the walls or the floor or the ceiling. They tried ramming the door, tried kicking it down. Their search was fruitless and they eventually sank to the floor, exhausted.

“How are we going to rescue Deeks?” Kensi asked, her voice a pained whisper.

“We’ll look again tomorrow.” Callen assured her. “We’ll find a way out.”

“And then we’ll go get Deeks.” Sam proclaimed. 

The three agents curled up on the hard concrete floor and fell into fitful slumbers.

 

(In Volkov’s room five days later)

Deeks knew what he had signed up for. None of Volkov’s commands surprised him. Nothing he had to do was beyond the scope of his imagination. He watched through veiled eyes, separated emotionally from what was happening to him. He stayed in character; he was a two dimensional personality. He wasn’t detective Marty Deeks. He was someone else entirely. Volkov couldn’t hurt him because he wasn’t there. He was Martin Brandell and Martin Brandell knew exactly what to do with physical pain. He knew how to compartmentalize, how to keep sane through physical and emotional torture, how to do what he was asked when he was asked with a smile on his face.

Martin Brandell could handle Volkov. After all, he had done it before.

 

(In the room with no windows five days later)

Kensi, Sam, and Callen were losing their minds. They had no way to tell how much time had passed except by counting the meals delivered. The meals came in through the tiny flap installed in the door. Volkov’s men had installed the flap the second day they were in captivity. It was too small for any of them to try and fit through and it was secured with a metal padlock on the outside. And they were losing their minds, spending every waking moment trying to think of something they hadn’t thought of, a way to escape from the windowless room, a way to save Deeks. They all felt useless and helpless and angry. 

Callen and Kensi were staging a practice fight, hoping that keeping their hand-to-hand combat skills sharp would come in useful in the near future. 

Sam was leaning against the wall right next to the door, speaking to whichever of Volkov’s men were in charge of guarding them at that particular time. He rambled aimlessly hoping to get one of them to respond to something he said, to give him some information to work with. He received no response, even after his voice had grown hoarse from talking.

 

(In Volkov’s room ten days later)

Volkov had left to take care of some business. Martin Brandell was lying on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, his hands tied to the headboard. He heard a barely audible squeak as the door to Volkov’s room opened just enough for the man at the door to peep in. This happened every time Volkov left. Martin had pretended not to notice on the occasions it had happened before, not wanting to spook his admirer. But he could sense the man growing more confident, more dependent on the naughty habit, which meant it was time to make his next move. So he made first contact, his eyes flashing into those of the man outside. 

The man froze and then, when Martin only looked back at him with interest, he opened the door wider and moved inside, his breath coming out in nervous huffs. His gaze travelled over Martin’s body and then returned to his face. 

And then Martin spoke, his words carefully contrived. “I remember you. Weren’t you guarding the entrance to the warehouse the first time I visited?”

The doorman nodded, seeming surprised. Martin tilted his head slightly, holding the doorman’s eyes. “Did you want something?” Martin asked, his eyes flickering meaningfully downwards towards his bare chest.

The doorman gaped, completely entranced.

Martin watched the doorman’s eyes flicker nervously towards the door and then back to his face again. And then he was moving towards the bed, his hand fumbling with his zipper. 

It was almost too easy. 

END of Chapter 12


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

(In the windowless room fifteen days after the abduction)

Kensi was laying on her back staring up at the ceiling. She was replaying her best memories in her mind. There was a common element in every single one of them: Deeks was there. He was grinning his toothy grin or joking about her cackle. He was kissing her to wake her up in the morning or looking at her as if she was the most beautiful woman in the world. He had brightened up her life, bestowing a rosy glow on every memory since their first meeting. And she felt like she was dying every day she didn’t seem him, every day she didn’t save him from the nightmare she knew he was living in. It felt like she was decaying from the inside out, like her core was rotting. She wondered how long it would take for her to deteriorate into nothing. 

“Kensi!” Callen barked, glaring down at her. “Don’t you dare give up! We’re going to get out of here, all of us. Stop wallowing. Get up. Practice fight, you and me, right now.” He held out a hand.

Kensi kicked herself mentally. Callen was right. Deeks deserved better. She would stay strong. She would see him again. They would leave this place together.

She grabbed Callen’s hand.

 

(In Volkov’s room twenty days after the abduction)

Martin awoke to the doorman shaking him awake, a frightened look on his face. 

“Wha…?” He started to ask in confusion. And then he was clutching his throat in pain, the bruise there throbbing under his fingers. The doorman watched with angry eyes.

Martin laughed quietly, letting his head fall back on the bed, his eyes closing. He spoke in a rasping voice, “I don’t think I’m going to last much longer.” He opened his eyes and looked at the doorman sadly.

The doorman shook his head at this. “No Martin. Don’t say that.” He looked truly upset.

Martin turned his head so he was staring up at the ceiling. “He’s going to kill me. I can feel it; I can see it in his eyes.” His lids drooped with hopelessness.

There was a pause and then the doorman said what Martin Brandell had been waiting for. “I won’t let him.” 

 

(Inside Volkov’s room twenty-one days after the abduction)

Volkov never saw it coming, never saw Martin Brandell decide the moment had come to stop doing what he was told, never saw that Martin Brandell had made up his mind to leave that day. If he had, he might never have asked Martin to get down on his knees. He might never have put himself in such a vulnerable position. But Vladimir Volkov had never fully accepted that Martin Brandell had been the one with all the power in the relationship from the beginning. So it came as quite a shock when Martin Brandell turned the tables on him. It came as quite a shock when Volkov looked down to see a great deal of blood. And it came as an even greater shock when he registered the excruciating pain he was suddenly experiencing. 

He fell to the floor, not feeling the impact, only feeling the pain. He was screaming an inhuman scream, infused with rage and shock and horror. And Martin Brandell stood looking down at him, his eyes cold and unfeeling.

It was strange, looking down on the man who had caused him so much pain, watching him writhe in agony, hearing him scream. Martin just stared down coldly, not finding a single ounce of feeling inside himself for the man on the floor. He wasn’t angry. He wasn’t relieved. He wasn’t anything. 

He knelt down and, with a quick twist, broke Volkov’s neck. The screaming stopped. 

He dressed and then walked out the door, leaving Volkov sprawled across the floor, his lifeless eyes still wide and staring.

 

(Outside Volkov’s room twenty-one days after the abduction)

A spine-chilling scream erupted from Volkov’s room, but the doorman kept his eyes forward, not reacting to his boss’s distress. The screaming came to an abrupt halt then, and Martin Brandell emerged a few moments later. Martin and the doorman nodded their goodbyes and took off running in opposite directions. 

 

(In the windowless room twenty-one days after the abduction)

Sam was back at it, sitting next to the door and staging a one-way conversation with the guard on the other side, who never said a word back. That was why he was the first to notice when the guard suddenly let out a surprised exclamation, after which there was the sound of something whirring through the air followed by a loud thud. Sam was on his feet, his ear pressed against the door. Kensi and Callen flew across the room to stand at the ready to either side of him, questions on their faces.

Sam furrowed his brows in concentration as he listened to the sound of approaching footsteps. He heard the person on the other side of the door retrieve the clinking keys from the guard. And then the sound of the key unlocking the door had Sam backing up quickly, Kensi and Callen backing up along with him. They all stared at the door, holding their breath as they waited for it to open.

The door swung forward to reveal detective Marty Deeks who jingled the keys in his hand at them and, with a smirk on his face, asked “Ready to get out of this shit hole?”

END of Chapter 13


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

(In the now open doorway to the windowless room)

They were all staring, their mouths hanging open, their eyes wide. 

“Deeks?” Kensi asked incredulously, scarcely believing that he was actually standing in front of her. “How are you here right now? How did you—“ 

Deeks interrupted, talking fast. “Guys, I’m so happy to see all of you; I can’t even tell you, but there really isn’t time for us to stop and chat. We need to move now. This isn’t a rescue; it’s a prison break. Come on.” And with that he turned and walked into the hallway. 

Kensi, Callen, and Sam reacted like the highly trained operatives they were and immediately suppressed their curiosities, getting ready to fight their way out of the building. As they walked into the hallway, they looked on with surprise as Deeks knelt down to retrieve a knife embedded in the unmoving body of a guard. He also grabbed the guard’s handgun and tossed it to Callen. 

Then he was moving down the hallway with the knife held loosely in his hand, the others trailing just behind him. Deeks reached the end of the hallway first, peeking around the corner stealthily to assess the locations of the two men on the other side. He paused, gripping the knife tighter in his hand, before whirling around the corner and thrusting the knife expertly into the space between the base of the skull and the first of the cervical vertebrae of the closest man, severing his spinal cord. The other man further down the hallway yelled in shock, barely managing to unholster his weapon before Deeks had pulled the knife out of the other man’s neck and sent it spinning through the air towards the second man. 

Callen, Kensi, and Sam rounded the corner just as the second man crumpled to the ground, the knife handle protruding from his eye socket. Deeks was already moving forward to retrieve it. They gawked at the scene, dumbfounded.

“Guys, check for a cell phone.” Deeks instructed, ignoring their shock.

Callen was the first to recover. He knelt down and searched the first man, absentmindedly handing the man’s gun to Sam. Sam was still wide eyed when he reached out to accept the weapon. 

Kensi’s feet had walked her over to where Deeks was searching the second man. She watched him, confused by his unfamiliar efficiency and baffled by his sudden ability to wield a knife. 

Deeks was all business, tossing the man’s revolver over his shoulder to Kensi, and then checking the man’s pockets. “Aha.” He said quietly, holding the man’s cell phone up so Callen would see he had found it. He flipped it open and dialed Hetty’s number.

“Hetty speaking.” Hetty’s voice betrayed her despondence. She had lost her entire team and had no leads nor agents to investigate any leads that might be found by the perpetually awake and working Nell and Eric. She was weary in her bones and was losing hope that she would find her agents alive, or at all, for that matter. So when the familiar voice of detective Deeks emanated from her phone, she was rendered uncharacteristically speechless for a couple seconds.

“Hetty? Still there?” Deeks asked.

“It’s good to hear your voice, Mr. Deeks.” Hetty responded, undertones of emotion in her voice. “Yes, of course I will get Nell and Eric to track your location immediately.”

“Thank you, Hetty. I’m handing the phone to Kensi.” Deeks held the phone up for Kensi to grab. 

She took it and held it to her ear. “Hetty?” She asked, slightly emotional at being reunited with her boss, even if only over the phone.

“Ah, Ms. Blye, I’m so glad to know you’re alive and well.” Hetty responded, sounding somewhat choked up. 

“We just have to get out of this place, now.” Kensi’s voice tensed with worry as her eyes fell upon Deeks who was stealing further down the hallway, his knife held at the ready once more.

Hetty paused, coming to a split second decision. “Ms. Blye, tell Mr. Deeks that he is not to hold back. Tell him that’s an order.”

Kensi’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Hetty, what are you talking about?” 

“Just relay the message for me, won’t you.” Hetty said, her tone closing the subject.

Kensi jogged quietly to catch up with Deeks, her voice still perplexed as she told him, “Hetty asked me to tell you not to hold back. She said it’s an order.” She raised her eyebrows expecting him to be as baffled as she was by Hetty’s words. 

But he kept his eyes trained ahead and said in a low voice. “Roger that.” 

Kensi, Callen, and Sam exchanged mystified glances, none of them having any clue what Hetty was talking about. They put it out of their minds as they approached another blind corner. They could hear voices on the other side speaking agitatedly in Russian.

“Are you certain he’s dead?” One man said in a disbelieving voice.

“I saw his body with my own eyes. It was really gruesome! His neck was snapped and he was missing his—“ The other man was cut off by a third man.

“What are we still doing here? We need to kill the prisoners and get out of this place!” The third man snapped.

They didn’t have time to say anything more. Deeks whipped around the corner, Kensi, Callen, and Sam right on his tail as he did. The three Russians stumbled back in surprise at their appearance, each of them reaching for their guns. Kensi put down one with a bullet to the temple. Sam got another with two shots to the heart. Callen took out the third with a headshot. Deeks armed himself with one of their guns. The group continued down the hallway. 

All was quiet and then, suddenly, it wasn’t. The group had unknowingly walked into a hallway intersection and there were altogether nine of Volkov’s men surrounding them on two sides. Deeks reacted fastest, his first move to shove Kensi and Callen backwards so that they were out of the line of fire of the guys coming from the hallway to the right. He then dove to the floor, firing his gun four times on the way down, each shot a kill shot. Sam managed to take out two of the men in front of him. Kensi and Callen were only thrown off balance for a moment, recovering quickly and each fatally wounding a man of their own. The sole survivor of the group of men had his gun trained on Sam and was in the midst of pulling the trigger when he screamed out in pain, dropping his gun, his gun hand skewered by the knife Deeks had hurled through the air. Deeks was on his feet and over to the man before the rest of the team could blink. And then the man was on the floor, his trachea crushed by a deadly blow. 

Deeks retrieved his knife, wiping the blood off on his pants. Sam and Callen were gaping at his five kills. Kensi was staring in shock at him.

“Where did that come from?” Sam asked, eyeing Deeks now. 

“Deeks, how did you…?“ Kensi stopped short, confusion elevating her voice a couple octaves. 

Deeks turned towards them, his face smooth and emotionless. “We better keep moving.”

END of Chapter 14


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Deeks was moving again before any of them could ask any more questions, forcing them to once again silence their errant thoughts and follow him. When they reached the exit without running into any more Russians, they all let out an audible sigh of relief. Deeks put his ear flat against the door, listening for activity outside. They waited.

“Four, I think.” Deeks said, stowing his knife, ejecting the clip from his gun, and eyeing the number of rounds he had left. He clicked the clip back in and checked that there was a bullet in the chamber. A twinge of pain shot through his gut. He sucked in a breath, keeping his face smooth. “Okay, I got this.” And then he swung the door open and moved outside, pulling the door closed behind him with one hand and shooting with the other.

Callen, Kensi, and Sam all practically ran into the door, stopping themselves short just before collision. The sound of gunfire stopped abruptly and they shoved the door open and rushed through. Deeks was stowing his weapon, four bodies on the ground around him. 

“What the hell did you shut the door on us for?” Callen was yelling at Deeks, angered that the detective was taking unnecessary risks with his life. 

Deeks looked back at him coldly. “Because I had it.” 

Callen recoiled from the look on Deeks’s face, the lack of feeling in his voice, the emptiness in his eyes. That was when he knew for sure that his friend had been through hell over the past twenty-one days and a chilling sadness settled in the pit of Callen’s stomach. 

Kensi looked on with building concern as Deeks and Callen stared at each other, Deeks expressionless, Callen growing more and more upset. She stepped forward, one hand held up to Callen, the other held up to Deeks. “Guys, calm down. Look, we made it; we’re out.” Her eyes flickered uncertainly between the two men, her excitement at their escape muted. 

Callen stepped back from Deeks, burying his anxiety as he looked around at their surroundings. “Are you still on the line with Hetty, Kensi?”

“Yeah, Nell and Eric should have traced the call by now.” Kensi pulled the phone out of her pocket and held it up to her ear. “Hetty? Nell? Eric?”

“The team is two minutes from your location, Kensi.” Eric reported promptly. 

“They’ll be pulling up in a black van.” Nell added. Kensi grimaced as the memory of the abduction twenty-one days ago flashed into her mind, her grip on her gun tightening.

“Is Hetty there?” Kensi asked, her voice tense from the memory.

“She’s with the team coming to get you.” Nell responded.

The black van pulled up in front of them, a SWAT team spilling out and immediately entering the building, paying the four NCIS agents no mind. Hetty exited the van moments later, walking over to stand in front of her agents. 

“It’s good to see all of you in one piece.” She said, smiling at them each individually. Her eyes lighted on Deeks last, taking in his cold expression and noticing his vaguely sickly pallor. She frowned slightly. “Are you injured, Mr. Deeks?” Callen, Kensi, and Sam turned to look at him, surprised by Hetty’s question. 

Deeks met Hetty’s gaze, answering quietly. “Nothing to worry about.” 

Hetty looked over her glasses at him. “Let’s leave that for a doctor to decide.” 

Deeks looked away from her penetrating gaze, but he nodded, the occasional twinges of pain in his abdomen having become sharper and more frequent as the adrenaline left his system.

Kensi approached him, scanning for injuries. “Deeks? You’re hurt?” Her voice was small. 

He sighed turning to her face her. “It’s nothing, really. No need to worry.” Something flickered in the back of his eyes, as he met her gaze. He looked away again quickly, wincing slightly at some thought. “Can we get out of here?”

“That sounds like an excellent idea.” Hetty responded, gesturing for the team to get into the van.

 

(In the van)

Deeks and Kensi were seated together at the back of the van, Callen and Sam in the middle seats, and Hetty in the passenger seat. 

The driver nodded and pulled the van away from the building at Hetty’s instruction, while Hetty made quick arrangements over the phone for another transport vehicle to come pick up the SWAT team once they had finished clearing the building. 

Deeks was quiet, looking out the window. Kensi was watching him, the crease between her brows growing more and more pronounced. 

After a few minutes of silence, Sam burst out with his earlier question. “Deeks, where did that come from? I didn’t even know you could use a knife and there you were throwing one with perfect accuracy—“ 

“Mr. Hanna.” Hetty snapped, ending Sam’s questioning abruptly. “This is not the time.” Something about Hetty’s voice had Sam frowning in Hetty’s direction and then turning in his seat to look at the detective. That was when he noticed how pale Deeks looked, how dark the circles under his eyes were. 

“Mr. Deeks, we’re only a few blocks from the hospital.” Hetty’s voice betrayed her worry now. 

Deeks didn’t answer, fighting now to keep the pain from showing on his face. 

They pulled up outside the hospital entrance, Callen, Sam, and Hetty jumping out of the vehicle before it stopped moving. Callen was at Deeks’s door, yanking it open so the detective could get out. Deeks didn’t move. 

Kensi peered over his shoulder. “Deeks?”

“I don’t think I can.” He said quietly, his voice shaking from the pain. 

Sam turned and ran into the hospital, emerging a moment later with two nurses, a doctor, and a gurney in tow. The doctor began asking questions immediately. “Where are you experiencing pain?” 

“Abdomen.” Deeks’s voice was faint.

“How long have you been experiencing pain?” The doctor asked, simultaneously helping the nurses get the gurney as close to the van as possible. 

“Since yesterday.” Deeks shuddered slightly as the nurses took hold of his arms and helped him out of the van and onto the gurney. He groaned as he straightened out to lay down.

“Did you suffer any trauma to the abdomen before you began experiencing pain?” The doctor began probing around Deeks’s stomach. Deeks gasped in pain and then nodded.

Kensi, Callen, Sam, and Hetty all hovered, looks of distress on their faces. The doctor was giving order to the nurses as they wheeled Deeks into the hospital. “Let’s check for internal bleeding with an Ultrasound. Start him on fluids…”

The team was frozen for a couple seconds, watching the detective get wheeled off. Then they were moving, following the gurney until one of the nurses told them they couldn’t pass. They wandered over to the waiting room, none of them speaking.

Kensi was silently berating herself. How had she not noticed that he was covering, that he was in pain? Her head fell into her hands as the tears started to flow. Callen and Sam were stony faced, sitting on both sides of her, occasionally patting her comfortingly on the back. Hetty was incredibly still, her eyes travelling over the faces of her agents. 

 

(In the waiting room)

One of the nurses emerged after some time, causing all of them to look up. She addressed the group, her voice calm and professional. “Your friend is bleeding into his abdomen. Due to the injury being over twenty-four hours old and him qualifying as hemodynamically unstable, the doctor has decided surgery is the best course of action. He’s being prepped as we speak.” 

Hetty, Callen and Sam exchanged troubled looks. Hetty stood and asked the nurse a few questions while Callen and Sam attempted to comfort Kensi, whose crying had intensified. The nurse spoke quietly to Hetty for a couple minutes before leaving the room. Hetty remained standing after her departure, looking undirected as her mind processed the news about Deeks.

A buzzing alerted Hetty to an incoming call from the SWAT team captain whose team had raided the building. “Hetty speaking.” 

“There were only six men still alive in the building when we went in. We captured two of them; the rest are now deceased. Volkov was confirmed to be dead.” The SWAT captain’s voice had an odd edge to it when he said the last part. 

“Is there more?” Hetty asked, picking up on his caginess. 

“Not really… it’s just, pretty gruesome, that’s all.” The captain replied evasively. 

Hetty decided she would question the captain further at another time. “Secure the two you captured alive; we’ll be wanting to question them later. Good work, captain.” She hung up and then paused, looking at her phone. She glanced over to see if Callen, Sam, and Kensi would notice her slip out. Seeing they were still preoccupied, she made her way out of their earshot and dialed a rarely used number on her phone.

After waiting to hear a specific prompt on the other end of the line, Hetty gave her report. “He’s been located and retrieved. He sustained internal injuries during his time in captivity and is currently in surgery.” And then Hetty went off script. “I would like to recommend that the three agents on the NCIS team he works with be given clearance to be briefed on his true status. They witnessed him utilizing his skill set during their escape and can no longer be kept in the dark.”

Hetty frowned at the response she received, but refused to relent. “The team will have questions for him when he gets out of surgery.” The person on the other end of the line began speaking again, but Hetty cut them off, losing her temper now. “Let me put this to you another way, I will be giving him permission to brief the team. You will be making sure the paperwork giving clearance to my team is in order, unless you want certain classified information regarding your time in Belgium leaked to the director of the CIA.” Hetty hung up. Her lips twitched. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

END of Chapter 15


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

(In the waiting room)

Hetty returned to the waiting area to see Kensi falling to pieces. She was sobbing, her body wracked with grief. Callen and Sam were talking to her in quiet voices, trying to calm her. 

“He’ll pull through, Kensi. No way is he going anywhere.” Callen told her.

“Deeks is strong. He’ll be fine.” Sam added.

“I didn’t even know something was wrong.” Kensi confessed tearfully. “I should have seen; I should have made him slow down. He probably made it worse, fighting to get us out of there.” Her words were mangled by the sobs still quaking through her body.

“Kensi, none of us saw it. He didn’t want us to.” Callen said, his own regret coming out in his voice. “His first priority was saving the three of us. Nothing was going to stop him from doing that.”

Sam nodded in agreement. “He’s a really good guy, that Deeks.” Kensi smiled up at him, through her tears.

“The nurse said the surgery should take a couple hours. The doctor will come out and give us an update when he can.” Hetty said, walking over to stand in front of her agents. “In the meantime, I am ordering all of you to go down to the cafeteria and eat something.” Hetty silenced Kensi’s protest with a look. “I don’t care if you don’t have an appetite, Ms. Blye. Go. Eat. Now.” The three agents nodded in agreement. “I will wait here for any updates in the meantime.”

 

(In the waiting room a couple hours later)

As soon as the doctor walked into the waiting room, they were all on their feet, their eyes both fearful and hopeful at the same time. The doctor smiled at them. “He came through just fine.” They all nearly collapsed with relief. “He’s in recovery now. Yes.” The doctor answered their unasked question before they could speak. “You can see him. Normally I’d say just one at a time, but considering the circumstances, I think I’ll not enforce that particular rule. He’s in room 371 on the third floor. He probably won’t be waking up for another hour or so, though.” The doctor looked seriously at all of them. “Remember he’s recovering from surgery, please, and don’t rile him when he wakes up.” The doctor smiled at them and began to walk back towards the door he had emerged from. Hetty followed him, asking him a few additional whispered questions. The team looked after her, wondering why she was being secretive. She walked back over to them after the doctor responded to her queries and spoke as if nothing had happened. “Let us go and see Mr. Deeks now, shall we.” 

 

(In Deeks’s hospital room)

Deeks’s eyes flickered as he began to wake up. Kensi, Callen, and Sam were crowded around his bed by the time his eyes had opened fully. Hetty was standing at the foot of his bed.

“Woah.” He said somewhat startled. He blinked a couple times. “Geesh guys, you all look like hell.”

Sam and Callen chuckled. Kensi smiled. “We were worried about you.” Kensi’s voice was heavy with the fear and grief she had dealt with over the last few hours.

Deeks’s eyes flashed into hers. He saw the depth of her feelings for him written all over her face. “I’m sorry, Kens.” His voice was quiet and regretful. 

“Why are you apologizing?” She huffed, shaking her head. She gazed into his eyes. “We’re all so grateful. You saved our lives. You rescued us from that place.” Her eyes clouded as she continued. “We’re also sorry, sorry that we couldn’t help you, sorry that we couldn’t protect you.” 

Deeks clasped her hand tightly. “You don’t need to be sorry, Kensi. I’m just thankful that you guys were alive when I found you. I wasn’t sure you would be.” His eyes dimmed at the thought. He looked at Sam and Callen. “Volkov didn’t hurt any of you? He didn’t do anything?” He asked them, scared to hear their answer. His eyes flashed back to Kensi, searching her face.

“No, the worst we had to deal with was cold dinner and boredom.” Sam answered, his voice carrying an edge of guilt. 

Deeks smiled his first true smile in twenty-two days. “I’m glad.”

Kensi lifted her and Deeks’s intertwined hands up to her face, her eyes leaking at his response.

And for a little while, they all just sat in silence, enjoying the still after the storm.

 

(In Deeks’s hospital room the next morning)

Kensi refused to leave. She had nearly clocked the nurse who delivered the message that visiting hours were over. Deeks had used his puppy dog eyes to convince the nurse to let Kensi stay and she had left, mostly appeased by his promise to rest. Kensi had initially pulled her chair closer to the side of Deeks’s bed and laid her head down on her arms, still in a sitting position, intending to sleep that way. Deeks had objected, immediately moving to scoot over so Kensi could climb into his hospital bed with him. She hadn’t needed much convincing, having missed falling asleep with his arms around her.

It was in this position that Hetty found them the next day when she entered Deeks’s hospital room. Deeks was awake when she walked in, watching Kensi snore lightly in her sleep. He smiled when Hetty walked in, holding a finger up to his lips. Hetty nodded, smiling back. It eased her worry for the detective slightly to see him smiling again. Hetty sat in one of the vacant chairs near Deeks’s side of the bed. 

She spoke very quietly, so as not to wake Kensi. “Mr. Deeks, I have received confirmation that the entire NCIS team was granted clearance to know your…” She glanced at Kensi. “true background.”

Deeks’s mouth popped open in surprise. He responded in a stunned whisper. “You got SAC Deaver to give clearance to the team?” His eyebrows shot up towards his hairline as Hetty nodded. “You’re kidding! I’ve been trying to get him to grant the team clearance since day one with NCIS!”

Hetty looked over her glasses at Deeks, with something akin to a smug expression on her face. “I didn’t ask nicely.” She did something very un-Hetty-like, then, and winked at him. 

Deeks let out a whispered laugh, shaking his head in amazement. “So… we’re going to tell them all then?” He asked, half nervous, half glad.

“Yes. Callen and Sam will be here soon, along with Nell and Eric. We’ll brief them all together once they arrive.” Hetty responded.

“Wow this is actually happening. Okay.” Deeks blew out a breath. He looked nervously down at Kensi’s sleeping face. “Do you think she’ll he upset I didn’t tell her, all this time?” He asked quietly.

“Ms. Blye understands the difference between secrets and confidential information.” Hetty answered, but she too wondered how Kensi would react. Hetty stood. “I’ll go wait out front for the rest of the team and give you a chance to wake up Ms. Blye.”

Deeks waited until the door closed behind Hetty and then he kissed Kensi lightly on the cheek, whispering. “Kens, time to wake up.” Kensi stirred, her eyes opening blearily. She smiled when she saw Deeks’s face.

“Morning.” She yawned and stretched, before snuggling against Deeks’s chest. “Did you sleep well?” 

“I did. You?” Deeks asked, smiling at the normalcy. 

“I did too.” She gazed up at him smiling. Her face became a bit more serious as she moved on to her next question. “How are you feeling?” She looked down at where she knew the bandages were under his hospital gown.

“Pretty good.” He shifted position so that he was sitting up a bit more. “Hetty and the rest of the team are…“ He trailed off as a disturbed look came over Kensi’s face, her eyes on the now highly visible dark purple bruises on his neck. “Kens?”

“Your neck…” Her voice shook with hatred. “Did Volkov do that?”

Deeks sighed, understanding now. “Yes.” He answered quietly, his eyes dimming slightly as his guard went up. He braced against the memory. 

Kensi was nearly shaking with loathing for Volkov. She sucked in a deep breath, controlling the anger, before looking back up at Deeks. She froze at his expression, the empty, dull look in his eyes that she was coming to recognize. “Deeks?” Her voice was upset.

His eyes lowered to meet hers, but there was no recognition there, no love, nothing. She stared into his baby blues until they slowly flickered back to life and he came back to her. “Hmm?” He asked. His eyes widened in surprise as she threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly. He was patting her on the back, confused, when the team walked in.

Kensi jumped in surprise as Sam cleared his throat noisily, letting go of Deeks and nearly falling off the hospital bed. “We interrupting?” Sam asked, waggling his eyebrows at them.

END of Chapter 16


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Once Kensi had situated herself back in her chair by Deeks’s bedside and the others had settled into comfortable positions around the room, Hetty began speaking.

“There is a certain matter that everyone in this room needs to be briefed on. I have only just secured permission to reveal this information in light of recent events. Prior to this, none of you had the clearance.” Everyone exchanged baffled looks. Hetty continued. “As many of you have probably guessed, I did not choose Mr. Deeks as our LAPD liaison at random. In fact, he had been on my watch list for a very long time prior to his first run-in with NCIS.”

“Deeks was?” Sam interrupted, his confusion unmistakable. “Why were you interested in an LAPD detective?” 

Hetty looked at Sam over her spectacles, addressing him sternly. “Mr. Hanna, you are an excellent asset to the team and are trained to do many things very well, but somehow, after all this time, you, still, are the worst judge of character.” Sam stared at Hetty in shock. She didn’t stop there. “You’ve let your abundance of training go to your head; it’s made you arrogant and it’s made you jump to conclusions that you shouldn’t have jumped to. You’ve seriously underestimated Mr. Deeks. Lucky for you, he is a teammate and not an enemy.” Now everyone’s mouths were hanging open. Deeks was the only two in the room that wasn’t gaping in shock at Hetty.

Sam jumped to the defensive. “Woah, woah. That’s harsh, Hetty. I have huge respect for Deeks. He’s a great detective and I owe him my life for what he did to save us.” Sam swallowed back the emotion choking up his voice. “But that doesn’t change the fact that he just hasn’t received the same training as the rest of us on this team. I’m not saying that out of arrogance; that’s just the way it is.” Sam didn’t meet Deeks’s eyes as he said the next part, looking instead at Hetty. “Your picking him to replace Dom never made any sense. He didn’t have the qualifications; he didn’t have the necessary skill set. If anyone’s judgment is clouded, Hetty, it’s yours.” A chilly silence settled over the room as Sam finished speaking. Callen, Kensi, Nell, and Eric all looked extremely uncomfortable, their eyes aimed anywhere but at Deeks or Hetty. 

“I didn’t realize…” Deeks spoke quietly, his voice uncharacteristically cold. “I didn’t realize you still felt that way, Sam.” He laughed humorlessly. Everyone’s eyes flickered to him, chilled by the strange edge to his voice, by how off his laugh sounded. “Or, I guess I should say…” He made careful eye contact with each of them, looking into Kensi’s guilty eyes last. “I didn’t realize all of you still felt that way.” He looked up at Hetty, a very un-Deeks-like humorless smirk contorting his features.

Hetty looked around at her agents, appalled, shaking her head in apology when Deeks met her eyes. The corners of her mouth turned downwards at the expression on his face, a deep disappointment in her agents weighing down on her chest. Her voice betrayed that disappointment as she said quietly, “After all Mr. Deeks has done for all of you, you still don’t see him as an equal, as having earned his place on this team?”

Kensi jumped in, her voice pleading. “Of course he has.” She looked at Deeks, who didn’t meet her eyes. “Of course you have, Deeks. It’s just, in the field, there are certain things that can happen and we, all of us, worry about you. You aren’t equipped to handle the kinds of circumstances that we are; you’re not an agent, that’s all.” Her voice was small and scared. Deeks still had not met her eyes.

He looked out the window, turning back to the room only after he had fashioned a polite smile on his face. He spoke in a falsely cheery voice. “Well, what Hetty has to brief you on will come as a huge relief to all of you, then.” He looked at Hetty, inviting her to continue with the briefing, and then cast his gaze back out the window.

Hetty’s expression was unhappy, but she followed Deeks’s lead and composed her expression, speaking in a professional voice. “You’ve all been made aware of Mr. Deeks’s childhood circumstances by now. You know that he was involved in Volkov’s organization as a minor and that he acted as an informant to help close the case many years ago. What you do not know is that, less than six months after Mr. Deeks was given a new identity and placed under witness protection, he was approached by a recruiter for the FBI.” Everyone’s eyes flicked to Deeks, their expressions confused. “He entered a special training program for promising recruits, too young to enter Quantico. The FBI paid for him to attend college as well as law school and, while he was earning his degree and his license, Mr. Deeks continued to undergo specialized training. He then entered Quantico at the age of twenty-three and graduated at the top of his class, after which he was deployed on various classified missions, the last of which involved him being placed undercover in the Los Angeles Police Department.” Kensi, Sam, Callen, Nell, and Eric all looked absolutely dumbfounded. They gaped at Hetty incredulously and then turned to look at Deeks, who continued to just stare out the window.

“Hold up.” Sam was half smiling, his eyes on Hetty. “You’re playing us, right? You just made all of that up, didn’t you?”

Callen was staring at Deeks, his expression serious, as he answered Sam’s question. “She’s not kidding, Sam.”

Kensi’s eyes flickered back and forth between Hetty and Deeks, her expression changing from disbelieving to upset. “That’s impossible.” She said quietly. 

“But what about everything we were just talking about?” Sam’s voice rose in volume. “If he had undergone specialized training and graduated top of his class at Quantico, he would be a whole lot better trained than he is.” He was still smiling, convinced the whole thing was a joke.

“Sam,” Callen said in a sobering voice, “We all saw him using his specialized training when he broke us out yesterday, or have you forgotten already?” 

Sam’s smile was slipping. “But, we’ve been working together for years now. There’s no way we wouldn’t have seen—“

“I’ve always been very good at undercover work, Sam.” Deeks cut Sam off, his eyes boring into the big man’s now. He spoke without feeling, his expression one of bored disinterest. “I was playing an LAPD detective. So I held back, downplayed my skills.” Deeks shrugged and looked back out the window. “Then Hetty recruited me for the liaison position. She knew everything: slipped me a folder with all my classified missions inside, my FBI handler’s name, information on how I was recruited. She needed someone that could fill an empty spot on your team, said I was the person for the job. In return, she offered tech support for my undercover mission at the LAPD.”

“That’s what all those random, secretive requests were about!?” Nell exclaimed, looking at Hetty. Nell stood shaking her head side to side, stunned.

“This is all completely insane!” Sam was getting agitated. “I fought you, that first mission, I went up against you in the ring and I kicked your ass.”

Deeks raised an eyebrow, smirking at Sam as he turned to look at him once more. “Sam, if I had beat you in that hand-to-hand fight, it would have looked majorly suspicious. You would have known I had specialized training. I had to throw the fight to protect my cover as detective Marty Deeks of the LAPD.”

“I would have been able to tell.” Sam said defiantly. “If you were holding back, I would have been able to tell.”

Callen jumped in. “You’re saying that, all this time we’ve been working together, even in the field, you were holding back to maintain your cover for the FBI?” Callen was looking at Deeks, his irritation palpable. “What if one of us had gotten hurt because you were holding back, Deeks?”

Deeks looked at Callen, his face serious. “I never would have let one of you get hurt to protect my cover. I always had your backs first and worried about my work for the FBI second.” Callen nodded, satisfied by Deeks’s answer. 

Kensi was looking at the floor, her eyes unfocused, as she listened. She finally spoke up, her voice quiet. “You’ve been playing all of us this entire time?” 

Deeks’s expression went blank as he heard the accusation behind Kensi’s words. “How can you ask me that?” He hissed. She looked up at him, shocked by the poignancy of the anger behind his words. “You know exactly what I did for you, these last twenty-one days.” He glared icily into Kensi’s wide eyes. “You think I endured that for no reason? You think I would go through that to save a team I was only pretending to care about?” She looked down at her lap, ashamed of her words. Deeks sighed, his anger fading, leaving him looking tired. “I was keeping some information back, that’s all. I wasn’t playing any of you.” His gaze went back out the window.

Hetty spoke up, now, seeing how tired Deeks was. “You’ve all been given a great deal to consider. Now, it’s time for all of us to leave so Mr. Deeks can get some rest.” They all stood and walked out of the room. 

Kensi remained in her seat, staring down at her hands, tears gathering in her eyes. “Deeks, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said. I was just taken by surprise and I spoke without thinking.” She looked up at Deeks, praying that he would be looking back, that there would be forgiveness in his eyes. But Deeks wasn’t there. His eyes were blank and staring. His face was devoid of expression. His mind was far far away, protecting itself from any more trauma.

END of Chapter 17


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

(In Deeks’s hospital room)

“Deeks, come back to me.” Kensi was crouched tearfully on Deeks’s bed, looking imploringly into his empty eyes. “Please, come back. Please, forgive me and come back.” He looked at her blankly. “Please, please, don’t pull away from me.” Her voice was a whisper, her expression pained. And then there was a flicker in the back of his eyes and the life seeped back in. Kensi lowered her head, weeping with relief. 

Deeks blinked as he reentered reality, taking in Kensi’s crying form. He paused as Kensi’s words started tumbling around his brain once more. You aren’t equipped to handle the kinds of circumstances we are. You’re not an agent, that’s all. You’ve been playing all of us this entire time? He sighed, no longer angry, and reached out a hand to tilt Kensi’s head up. She kept her tear-rimmed eyes lowered, still ashamed. “Kensi, look at me.” He said, his voice tired and slightly sad. 

She met his eyes, another apology on her tongue. “I’m sorry—“

Deeks interrupted. “You don’t have to be sorry, Kensi.” He dropped his hand from her chin, looking out the window with tired eyes. “Just because I kept a part of my past from you… it doesn’t mean anything we’ve been through, anything we’ve felt, wasn’t real. I never faked anything with you. I hate that I have to tell you that, that you don’t know, without me having to say it.” His voice took on a bitter edge at the end.

Kensi pulled his face back around to look at her, her eyes intense as she stared deeply into his. “I do know. I do. I should never have said what I did. I didn’t mean it.” Her eyes burned with sincerity. 

Deeks looked back searchingly, his eyes still sad. “Do you know, Kensi?” He asked quietly. “When you walk out of this room and think about all of this, are you going to start doubting what we have all over again?” 

Kensi’s gaze didn’t waver. She answered firmly, her voice full of emotion. “I know. I’m sure. I’m sure I love you. I’m sure you love me. Everything else is just noise. And I’m not going to forget that when I walk out the door.” 

She lowered her hands from Deeks’s face, a crease forming between her eyebrows, her eyes dropping. “I wasn’t actually planning on leaving, though.” She said, saddened as she realized he might want her to leave.

And then he was pulling her close so her head was resting against his chest. She fell asleep, curled up against him, listening to the comforting sound of his heartbeat.

 

(NCIS headquarters the following week)

“Deeks is getting released from the hospital today.” Callen mentioned casually to his partner, who was, once again staring uncomfortably at Deeks’s empty desk.

Sam scowled at Callen, one eyebrow raised. “You think I should apologize. Just say it.”

Callen shrugged. “If you feel like you said some things you shouldn’t have to the guy that saved your life at great personal cost, then, yeah, maybe you should apologize.” Callen stood up from his chair, slinging his bag over his shoulder. He looked up to see a familiar stubborn look on Sam’s face. “But, hey, that’s up to you, Sam. Me, I’m on my way to pick him and Kensi up from the hospital.” Callen strode out, slightly frustrated with his partner’s attitude.

 

(In Deeks’s hospital room)

“Kensi, relax! The doctor said everything looks good. He said I could leave.” Deeks was almost laughing as Kensi zipped chaotically around his hospital room collecting his things. 

Kensi responded in a stressed voice. “It’s barely been a week; what if something goes wrong and there are no doctors around?” Straggles of Kensi’s hair were falling out of her messy bun, making her look slightly crazed. “Maybe you should stay another night, at least.” She looked at him hopefully. 

Deeks grinned at her, trying not to laugh at her appearance. “I’m fine, Kensi. I don’t need to be here anymore. Nothing’s going to happen.” He caught her mid-pace. “Seriously, we’re through the bad part.” He held her gaze, hands on her shoulders. 

Kensi looked back and felt her heartbeat slow as she let herself relax. “Right. Right, okay.” She blew out a breath and then smiled up at him. “Let’s get you home.”

 

(NCIS headquarters two weeks later)

“It feels too early.” Kensi said nervously as she trailed Deeks through the doorway into NCIS headquarters. “You haven’t taken enough time to recover, mentally and physically.”

Deeks looked over his shoulder at her. “I’m just here to do paperwork. It’s not like I’m jumping back into the field right away. Plus, Hetty won’t let me do anything until I sit down with Nate.” Deeks grimaced, not looking forward to the psych eval.

Kensi grabbed his hand, forcing him to stop and turn around to face her. She looked up at him seriously. “Make sure you tell him about the nightmares.” 

Deeks avoided her gaze. “That only happened, maybe, two times.” He said quietly. 

Kensi moved so she was once again in his field of view. “Deeks, you’ve refused to talk to me about what’s been making you scream yourself awake every night. You damn well better talk to Nate about it. Promise me.” She stared him down until he met her eyes and nodded at her begrudgingly, one eyebrow raised at her forcefulness. “Good. Thank you.” She smiled at him. 

He shook his head, half smiling as he turned to walk into the bullpen. The first thing he saw was Sam half choke on his lunch at his appearance. “Hey there Sam. It’s been a while.” He spoke in a light voice, making steady eye contact with the big man.

“Deeks… I didn’t expect you back here so soon.” Sam answered after recovering from his coughing fit. He shifted uncomfortably under Deeks’s gaze.

Deeks turned to Callen, who had risen from his chair grinning. “Look who’s back!” He gave Deeks a quick hug, clapping him on the back. Callen grinned as he hugged Kensi as well. “It’s been too quiet ‘round here without you two.” 

“Indeed it has, Mr. Callen.” Hetty appeared at Callen’s elbow, causing him to startle. 

“Geez, Hetty. How do you do that?” Callen huffed out a breath, holding a hand against his rapidly beating heart.

“Mr. Deeks, Mr. Getz is waiting to talk to you.” Hetty half turned, waiting for Deeks to lead the way. 

Deeks sighed. “Okay, okay. I’m coming.”

END of Chapter 18


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

(In the boathouse)

“Good to see you, Deeks.” Nate said, smiling at the detective.

“You too, Nate.” Deeks stood awkwardly by the boathouse door.

“Why is no one ever excited to talk to me?” Nate joked, taking in Deek’s defensive posture.

Deeks half-laughed, shrugging in response and walking over to sit down by Nate.

“Has Hetty told you everything already?” Deeks asked hesitantly, looking at the floor.

“She has filled me in on your past and what she knows about what happened over the last few weeks.” Nate waited for Deeks to look up. “You’re the only one who really knows what happened, though, Deeks. Your team wasn’t present for the worst of it.”

Deeks’s eyes were haunted as he met Nate’s gaze. “Is that what you want me to do, then, talk about what happened?”

Nate’s eyes were sad as he looked back. “You’ve been protecting everyone else, trying to keep them from having to deal with what happened to you. But you don’t have to do that with me, Deeks. Nothing you say will leave this room. But you do need to talk about it so that you can start to heal.” Nate folded his hands in his lap and looked at Deeks expectantly, waiting for the detective to speak.

Deeks sighed, directing his gaze down at the floor. “I just did what I had to in order to keep the rest of them alive. I didn’t have much to work with; he was going to kill them outside of that safe house. I used the only bargaining chip I had.” 

Nate nodded sadly. “It was quick thinking; you made a huge personal sacrifice for your team and you saved them. You should be proud of what you did that day.” Nate paused, tilting his head and scrutinizing Deeks’s expression. “But you don’t seem to be proud, Deeks. You seem like you’re ashamed. Why is that?”

Deeks frowned as he raised his eyes to meet Nate’s. “I’m not ashamed. I would do it all over again to save them.” Nate raised an eyebrow at him. Deeks continued, his voice growing defensive. “I mean it’s not really something anyone would be proud of, Nate. I traded sexual favors to keep them alive.” Deeks looked away again, his voice growing bitter at the end.

“Do you think that, under the circumstances, that was the wrong choice to make, ethically?” Nate asked calmly.

“No, like I said, I’d do it all over again.” Deeks answered, exasperated.

“That wasn’t what I asked. Do you think there was something wrong with you making the choice you did, the choice you say you would make all over again?” Nate asked shrewdly.

“It was the right choice, I know it was.” Deeks paused, an uncomfortable edge coming into his voice. “But it was almost too easy for me to make that choice. It was too easy to be that person again, to be Martin Brandell, to just…” Deeks looked worriedly at Nate now, his voice a whisper. “stop feeling anything.” 

Nate nodded in understanding. “Deeks, you were very young when you first had to deal with abuse and you adapted by learning to detach emotionally so that you could do what you needed to to survive. When exposed to similar circumstances as an adult, you used a coping mechanism that you already had in place from when you were younger. That’s completely understandable.” 

Deeks continued to look worried. “I’ve been having these nightmares.” He said, not elaborating right away. Nate waited, a crease forming between his brows. “I’m back in the warehouse with Volkov, and I’m looking down at him on the floor and he’s screaming. And I just watch him scream and I can’t feel anything, anything at all.” Deeks’s eyes flickered back in forth as the images flash before his eyes. “I can’t remember why I’m there in that room, why he’s there on the floor. And then I just leave, walk right out the door, walk right out of the warehouse.” Deeks looked back at Nate, shame clouding his features. “And I leave them all there: Kensi and Callen and Sam. I just leave them.”

“What exactly about that dream worries you so much? Is it that you didn’t feel anything when you watched Volkov die? Because you didn’t leave Kensi, Callen, and Sam; you rescued them and broke out of the warehouse with them. You didn’t forget them.” Nate spoke gently.

Deeks dropped his gaze to the floor and spoke in a haunted voice. “I wasn’t me, though, when I went to get them. I was Martin Brandell and Martin Brandell could have just as easily left them there.” His eyes were pained as he made eye contact with Nate again. 

Nate’s brow furrowed. “Deeks, you are Martin Brandell. The fact that you did go and rescue your team is proof of that. He’s not an alternate personality. He’s just you in a more emotionally distant state.”

“You don’t get it. I wasn’t present. It’s like my body was moving around without me… driving. I wasn’t there.” Deeks closed his eyes, frustrated with himself.

“Do you remember everything from when you broke out of the warehouse? Have you suffered any lost time or blackouts?” Nate slipped into psychologist mode, masking his worry with professionalism.

“I remember. I just feel like a spectator in the memory, like I wasn’t in control.” Deeks answered.

“The way you’re remembering what happened is most likely a result of the high stress your mind and body were under at the warehouse. You were hiding internal injuries, you had just undergone physical and emotional torture, and you were in a high-pressure situation trying to protect your teammates. Conditions like that can affect how you remember something, can make you feel disconnected from the part you played in the memory.” Nate responded thoughtfully. “Let me put your mind at ease about this, though, Deeks: no amount of emotional trauma would be able to force you to withdraw into your mind so far that you would forget who you are or who Kensi or Callen or Sam are. The fact that you did save your teammates is proof of that. You don’t need to be worried that you’ll withdraw and not be able to come out of it. I promise you, that’s not possible.”

Deeks nodded, feeling lighter as relief washed over him. “That’s good to hear.”

Nate smiled at him. “I’m glad I could help.” Nate stood then, holding his hand out to the detective. “That’s enough for today; let’s go see what the rest of the team is up to.” 

Deeks grinned, glad to be done with the session. “Sounds good.” He stood to follow Nate out of the boathouse. 

END of Chapter 19


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

(Back in the bullpen)

Kensi watched as Deeks and Hetty walked out of the room, uncomfortable letting Deeks out of her sight. She had been attached to his side since he had been admitted to the hospital and found the thought of separation nerve-wracking. She sat down absentmindedly at her desk, drumming her fingers nervously on the top.

“Kensi?” Callen asked after a few minutes had passed. 

“Hmm?” Kensi looked up at him distractedly. 

Callen tilted his head to the side questioningly. “How’s he been doing?”

Kensi looked at Callen seriously. “I think he’s doing okay, considering.” She shrugged, but the crease between her eyebrows undermined her attempt at nonchalance. “He’s quieter than he used to be. He doesn’t smile as much.” Her voice broke slightly at this and she looked down at her hands resting on her desk. 

Callen frowned sadly. “I’m sorry, Kensi.” His voice rose hopefully. “But it doesn’t sound like he has any signs of PTSD…” He trailed off as Kensi looked up at him with distressed eyes.

“He has nightmares all night long.” She admitted, her voice thick with emotion. “And he won’t talk about them.” She looked miserably at Callen. “I don’t know how to help him.”

Sam chimed in. “He’s talking with Nate now. Nate will know how to help.”

Kensi sniffed as she nodded in response. “I just feel so useless.” Kensi laughed tearfully. “Again.” She added, her mind flooding with memories of her ex.

“He’ll pull through, Kens.” Callen said with confidence.

“Deeks is tough.” Sam added, nodding.

Kensi smiled at them gratefully. “You’re right. Plus, he’s got all of us looking out for him.” 

(In the bullpen a little while later)

Deeks and Nate walked in chuckling lightly and Callen, Kensi, and Sam looked up in surprise. Kensi’s eyes shone with hope as she took in Deeks’s laughing form. She blinked rapidly, trying to keep the tears forming in her eyes from falling. Deeks grinned at her and a loving look passed swiftly between them.

“Hi there.” Deeks said, his eyes locked on Kensi’s.

“Hi yourself.” She smiled wider, her stress and worry from the past few weeks lessening slightly as she perceived Deeks’s lighter countenance.

“Kens, can I talk to you for a sec.” Deeks asked, smiling reassuringly at Callen and Sam as he did.

Kensi jumped up. “Of course!” She followed Deeks over to a private corner, slightly surprised when Nate joined them.

“Is everything okay?” She asked, looking between them.

Deeks’s eyes flickered to Nate briefly and then back to Kensi. “I’ve been talking to Nate and he thought it might be a good idea if, in addition to me continuing the solo sessions with him, the two of us talked to him together. I think it might be a good idea, but only if you’re comfortable talking about… what happened.” Deeks’s eyes were slightly unsure as he peeked at Kensi to gauge her reaction.

“Of course! I’ll help however I can.” Kensi answered quickly.

Deeks’s eyes flickered to Nate again and Nate spoke up, looking at Kensi. “Kensi, the group sessions aren’t just about helping Deeks cope with the events of the past weeks; they’re about helping you cope too.” Nate watched as Kensi’s brows furrowed in confusion.

“But I’m fine.” Kensi said, looking back and forth between Nate and Deeks. 

“Kensi, you’ve been really strong for me. But there are things that I have to deal with…” Deeks’s eyes flickered once more to Nate who nodded encouragingly for Deeks to continue. “things that we have to deal with, things that happened that we haven’t talked about….” Deeks trailed off, struggling for words.

Nate jumped in. “Kensi, it’s really important that you and Deeks sit down and directly address what the two of you went through. That’s the only way the two of you can heal, both individually and as a couple.” Kensi paled at Nate’s words.

She looked at Deeks, who was peering up at her anxiously. She swallowed back her fear. “Okay. I understand.” Her voice came out hoarse and apprehensive. She sucked in a breath. “When?”

Nate smiled at her comfortingly. “We can jump right in now, if you’re both up for it. It might be better not to wait.”

Deeks and Kensi both looked slightly pale as they nodded and exchanged nervous glances.

“Okay, let’s go find a private room to talk in then.” Nate started towards the stairs with Deeks and Kensi following hesitantly behind.

(In an NCIS conference room)

Kensi felt cold as she listened to Deeks speak, her silently falling tears hot against her skin. He wasn’t looking at her and his eyes had what was by now a familiar dullness. Nate was watching both of them carefully, his brows furrowing slightly as he observed Deeks’s emotional withdrawal firsthand. 

Deeks began to recount the final days of their captivity, absentmindedly rubbing his throat at the memory. “I realized I was running out of time; Volkov was losing control and it was only a matter of time before he took it too far. I was pretty sure I wouldn’t wake up the next time. And once I was dead, I knew that would mean the rest of you wouldn’t be safe anymore.” Deeks’s forehead wrinkled with worry as he relived the memory. Kensi’s crying intensified at his words. “But Volkov almost killing me is what got the guy at the door to agree to help me escape. So the next day, when he was manning the door again, I made my move and took down Volkov. Then I went to find you, Callen, and Sam. And you were there for the rest of it.” Deeks finished, his eyes still dull and unfocused as he aimed them at Kensi. 

Kensi rubbed harshly at her eyes, sniffling as she stood and moved closer to Deeks. She knelt down in front of him, searching his eyes as he looked back expressionlessly. She turned to look at Nate beseechingly. “Do you know what this is? How do I get him back when he’s like this?” 

Nate’s brows furrowed further as he watched Kensi try to call Deeks back from wherever he had gone. He stood and made his way over, kneeling next to Kensi and putting a hand lightly on Deeks’s arm. “Deeks? You did a great job. Now come on back.” Deeks looked at him with empty eyes. “Talk to him, Kensi. Just talk to him until he’s ready to reengage.” 

Kensi nodded, tears rolling down her face. She spoke in whispered pleas to Deeks, stroking his face as she did. After a few minutes of this, something flickered in the back of Deeks’s eyes and Kensi’s voice took on a hopeful edge. Within another minute Deeks was focusing on her, the life back in his eyes. His expression grew somewhat bewildered as he took in the scene in front of him. “What…?” Kensi lowered her head, resting it on Deeks’s lap in relief. 

Nate patted Deeks’s arm, responding to the detective’s questioning look. “You left us for a minute there, bud.” He said calmly. “Can you tell me where you went?” Nate asked, keeping his voice light.

Deeks looked down at Kensi. “I was just remembering…” He looked back up worriedly at Nate. “Was I unresponsive or something?” 

“Not unresponsive. You withdrew mentally while you were talking and it took a couple minutes for you to reengage. We talked about this, Deeks.” Nate spoke calmly, reassuring the detective. “You went into an emotionally detached state, but that doesn’t mean you weren’t still present enough to respond to Kensi being upset. You weren’t gone; you were just distant.” 

Deeks nodded, looking back down at Kensi. “Sorry, Kens.” Deeks whispered sadly, stroking Kensi’s hair. “You okay?”

Kensi wiped her eyes as she lifted her head and looked up at a worried Deeks. “Don’t apologize.” She smiled gratefully at him. “Thank you for coming back to me.”

Deeks returned the smile, putting his hands on both sides of her face and looking into her eyes. “Always.”

END of Chapter 20


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

(In the boathouse two weeks later)

“You’re not there, Deeks. You’re here with us; come on back.” Nate crouched in front of Deeks, his hands on the detective’s shoulder. “You’re safe here with Kensi and I, Deeks, so don’t be scared.” Nate smiled as Deeks’s eyes began to come into focus once more.

Deeks blinked a couple times in confusion, his eyes finally coming to rest on Nate. “Damn it!” His eyebrows furrowed. “I didn’t even notice it happening!”

“Deeks, it’s going to take time.” Nate reminded him calmly. “This is a defense mechanism that’s been hard-wired into your brain. You just need to keep working on it until you’ve got it under control and you don’t detach emotionally like that without expressly choosing to do so.” Nate smiled at him. “You’re doing really great; you reengaged within a couple minutes that time, and Kensi didn’t even have to step in.” Kensi nodded mutely, confirming his words.

Deeks sighed tiredly. “I don’t like feeling this out of control.” He rubbed his eyes roughly.

Kensi was on her knees in front of him, looking fervently up into his face when he reopened his eyes. “I know this is so hard for you, but I’m so grateful that you’re working through it, that you’re not letting it get the best of you. It means so much to me that you’re fighting for your future.” Her gaze dropped from his. “It’s not really fair, that you went through so much and that you’re the one who has to work so hard now to get his life back on track.” Kensi’s eyelashes were wet when Deeks lifted her chin so he could see her face. She met his eyes regretfully and spoke in a voice rough with emotion. “If I could do this for you, if I could fix this for you… I would.”

Deeks held her head between his hands and gazed gratefully into her eyes. “I know you would.” He gave her a quick peck on the lips and then dropped his hands from her face, raising his eyes to look at Nate, who was now leaning against the far wall. “Let’s try it again.” Deeks’s mouth settled into a determined frown, his eyes narrowing in concentration. 

Nate nodded and began walking back over to sit across from Deeks. “Okay, let’s pick up from where we left off…”

(NCIS headquarters)

“Yes, that’s right.” Hetty pursed her lips, fighting the urge to hang up on Deeks’s FBI handler. “SAC Deaver, I explained to you very clearly when Mr. Deeks was in the hospital that the other NCIS agents on the team, on his team, needed to be brought into the circle of trust on this. In fact, they should have been briefed on agent Deeks’s status long before—“ Hetty’s eyes glinted angrily as Deaver interrupted her. She didn’t allow him to speak for long. “No you listen: they’ve been briefed; it’s done. Stop throwing a fit and sign the damn paperwork!” She hung up, slamming the phone down with a bit more force than was necessary.

“Woah!” A wide-eyed Nate exclaimed as he witnessed Hetty lose her temper for the first time since joining NCIS. “Do you want to talk about it?” He asked before he could stop himself.

Hetty raised an eyebrow at him. “How have the sessions with Mr. Deeks been going, Mr. Getz?” 

Nate smiled. “He’s made a lot of progress and he’s really opening up, even though that means he has to talk about some really dark, difficult stuff. You should be really proud of him, Hetty. Not many people could go through what he did and come out the other side and even fewer could take the necessary steps to work through it afterwards. He’s been incredibly strong.” Nate blinked in surprise as Hetty’s glasses fogged up slightly, but was convinced he had only imagined it half a second later when all evidence of fogging had disappeared.

“That is very good news, Mr. Getz.” Hetty said, her voice slightly hoarse with emotion. “I’ll leave deciding when Mr. Deeks is fit to return to duty up to you, then.” She stood then and turned her back, busying herself with making a very strong cup of tea. 

(In the NCIS gym three weeks later)

“Come on Callen! That all you got?” Sam laughed as he dodged Callen’s right hook and delivered a quick shot to the team leader’s ribs.

Callen clutched at his side, huffing out an annoyed breath. “I’m calling it! You win! Geez!” He laid down on the practice mat, breathing hard. Sam laughed at him, taking a swig from his water bottle. “Ugh! Don’t go getting a big head over this, Sam. I would kick your ass in a knife or gun fight.” Callen pouted slightly as Sam raised an eyebrow at him in response.

“If you’re that confident, Sam, how ‘bout taking me on?” Sam and Callen looked up in surprise to see Deeks standing in the doorway to the gym smirking at them, his eyes focused on Sam. 

“Deeks?” Callen asked in delighted surprise, jumping up from the mat. “Are you cleared, then?”

“Yup! I’m officially back to work tomorrow, but I thought I’d come in and get some training in.” Deeks’s eyes flickered back to Sam’s. “I need to make sure I’m fighting fit for duty, after all.” 

Sam’s eyes narrowed. “You don’t want to rush it, Deeks. Maybe you should ease your way back into training and put off sparring until later. I’m not going to go easy so you’re better off waiting until you’re fully—“ 

“I’m ready now.” Deeks said simply, still smirking as he walked over to the mat and stood in front of Sam. “And don’t even think about holding back, Sam. It’ll be over way too quickly if you do.” He held his hands in front of his body, assuming a comfortable fighting stance. 

“He’s cleared for duty, Sam. If he says he’s ready, he’s ready.” Callen stepped back from the mat, smiling slightly and gesturing for Sam to approach the detective. 

Sam shrugged. “You asked for it.” He took his place in front of Deeks confidently and crouched into a fighting stance of his own.

“Ready, set—“ Callen was cut off abruptly by an exclamation sounding from the doorway to the gym.

“Wait! Wait! I don’t wanna miss it!” Kensi shouted as she hurried over to stand next to Callen. She grinned at him conspiratorially. “I’m dying to see Sam get knocked on his ass.” She whispered the last part laughingly before turning to wink at Deeks. He winked back playfully.

Callen began again. “Okay, it’s on guys! Ready, set…” Callen paused for dramatic effect, his eyes flickering between Deeks and Sam. “Fight!”

END of Chapter 21


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deeks and Sam spar. The team gets briefed on Deeks's undercover opp for the FBI.

Chapter 22

(In the NCIS gym)

Sam was not a vain man, or, at least, he didn’t think he was. So when a slight swagger worked its way into his approach, it was, in his mind, only because of the utmost confidence he placed on his seal training and nothing more. Easy as pie, he thought as he assumed a casual fighting stance in front of Deeks. He smiled slightly tilting his head and flicking his gaze sideways. “You asked for it.” Deeks met his eyes evenly, a sureness in them that caused Sam’s cocky smile to falter slightly. 

“Ready, set--” Callen started to cue them, but was interrupted by a breathless Kensi.

“Wait! Wait! I don’t wanna miss it!” Kensi shouted as she hurried over to stand next to Callen. She grinned at him conspiratorially. “I’m dying to see Sam get knocked on his ass.” She whispered the last part laughingly before turning to wink at Deeks. He winked back playfully.

Sam shook off the foreboding he suddenly felt. This is Deeks. How good could he possibly be? His cocky smile returned in full force and he gestured with two fingers for Deeks to bring it. 

Deeks’s head tilted sideways, his eyes narrowing as he read in Sam’s expression the lack of seriousness Sam still ascribed to his fighting prowess. A Cheshire cat grin spread over his face. He had warned the man. Now he would have to show him. It had been so long since he had last fought with no punches pulled. Deeks’s eyes flickered downwards as he took in Sam’s fighting stance. This was going to be fun.

Callen began again. “Okay, it’s on guys! Ready, set…” Callen paused for dramatic effect, his eyes flickering between Deeks and Sam. “Fight!”

Sam was moving as soon as the words were out of Callen’s mouth. He lunged towards Deeks and jabbed expertly, first aiming for Deeks’s ribs and following up with a powerful swing at the detective’s head. Deeks stepped easily out of reach of the first jab, the corners of his mouth flicking upwards as he foresaw the follow-up punch’s trajectory. Sam’s eyes widened in shock as Deeks darted forward, catching his wrist mid-swing and artfully spinning under Sam’s arm and twisting his arm back until his shoulder locked. Before he could comprehend, Sam found himself flat on his back, his shoulder screaming in protest at the awkward angle Deeks was holding it at. He tapped the matt in surrender.

Deeks released Sam’s arm, stepping back to his original position. The NCIS gym was filled with silence. Sam sat up rubbing his arm, a frown on his face. Kensi and Callen were wearing identical expressions of shock. Sam got to his feet, and brushed himself off, laughing condescendingly. “Okay, not bad.” His eyes narrowed as he looked up to see Deeks smiling calmly at him. “But I was going easy. Let’s see if you can do it again.”

Deeks shrugged. “Sure, sure.” 

Sam took his stance in front of Deeks once more. They waited. 

Deeks looked around after a few moments of silence. “Callen?” 

Callen jumped at the sound of his name, still gaping at Deeks. “Right, right.” He shook his head and took a step forward. “Ready, set… fight!”

Sam was more cautious this time, moving laterally and analyzing Deeks’s fighting stance for openings. Deeks didn’t shift his position, only following Sam with his eyes as he circled. And then the big man pounced, thinking he had found a weakness in Deeks’s positioning. He was wrong. Deeks spun around, easily grabbing hold of Sam’s arm. With first a push towards Sam and then a sudden change of direction away from him, Deeks propelled the big man into a series of unplanned somersaults across the gym floor. Sam got ahold of himself and rolled onto his feet, shaking his head as if to dislodge the novel feeling of uncertainty in a fight’s outcome. He began circling Deeks again, even more cautious than before. And then Deeks struck out lighting quick with a low kick to the back of Sam’s knee. Sam reacted in the knick of time, twisting his body around to absorb the impact and keep himself standing. Deeks followed with a hard uppercut that made solid contact with Sam’s jaw. Sam’s head snapped back in response and the big man hastily tried to get some shots to Deeks’s body off. To Sam’s shock, his jabs once again missed their mark as Deeks took hold of Sam’s shoulder and yanked it forward, jumping into the air and swinging one leg over Sam’s head so that his legs were locked around Sam’s torso. Deeks’s weight sent Sam tumbling to the ground once more, Deeks rolling lightly from his back into a kneeling position and catching Sam in a choke hold. Sam tapped out once more. Deeks released him and stood.

Sam sat up, looking confusedly at Deeks. “What the hell was that?” 

Deeks smiled at him. “A mix of Aikido and Krav Maga. Wanna go again?” The corners of his eyes crinkled as he grinned down at Sam.

“You know mixed martial arts and have somehow kept that hidden all this time?” Sam asked, incredulous. 

“It’s not like we get in too many hand-to-hand fights during work hours.” Deeks shrugged.

“What other skills have you been keeping back?” Sam squinted his eyes at Deeks, suspicious. Deeks shrugged again. “No really, is there more?” Deeks met his eyes, wondering how much he should share.

“Mr. Deeks, you can play show and tell later.” Hetty’s voice said from the doorway, making Kensi, Sam, and Callen jump. “We have a case.” She smiled as Deeks shot her a grateful look. 

Kensi and Callen were still staring at Deeks in shock. They had been told by Hetty and by Deeks himself that he was a much better fighter than he had previously presented himself to be, but seeing him take down Sam the big strong Navy Seal with so little effort had sent their brains whirring like overheated computers. 

What the hell? Kensi’s eyes had felt like they were going to pop out as she watched this new graceful deadly Deeks fight. Was he really the same man she had fallen in love with? 

“Hey, Kens, you good?” Deeks voice asked from beside her. She looked over, melting as her eyes met his baby-blues. She shook herself angrily. Of course he was. She smiled at him and reached out to give his hand a reassuring squeeze. 

“I’m great.” She answered sincerely, holding his questioning gaze. He smiled back, relieved.

Callen walked next to his shell-shocked partner in astonished silence. Never in the many years he had been Sam’s partner, had he seen Sam lose to someone in hand-to-hand combat so completely. He patted Sam on the back comfortingly. Sam shot him an annoyed glance in response. “G.” He said in warning. Callen held his hands up, his eyebrows shooting towards his hairline as Sam increased his pace and left Callen walking alone. Callen rolled his eyes. What a big baby.

They reached Ops and headed in. Nell and Eric were concealing identical grins, having watched what had just transpired in the gym via live feed.

“What’s the new assignment?” Sam asked grumpily, his arms crossed in a defensive posture. 

Hetty looked over her spectacles at him, hiding a smile of her own. “Now that you’ve all been brought into the loop, we can officially launch a team operation to help Mr. Deeks complete his undercover mission at LAPD.” Kensi, Callen, and Sam’s eyes widened in surprise. Hetty’s eyes lighted on Deeks. “Agent.” She said, inviting Deeks to brief the team.

Deeks walked over to Hetty, glancing at the screen, now showing the face of six LAPD detectives, before turning to face his teammates. “A series of child abductions have taken place in the LA area over the past decade. The ages of the children abducted are highly varied, but they are all female, white, and blonde. They are suspected to be abducted from their homes sometime in the early hours of the morning. No ransom demands are ever issued. No bodies are ever found. But a new girl is abducted roughly every two to three months. A conspicuous lack of investigation into the disappearances on the part of LAPD sent up some red flags and that is why I was assigned to go undercover and see if anyone in the department is involved with or responsible for the disappearances.” Deeks turned to face the screen. “These six guys are who I have evidence against so far, but the network seems to extend even further up the chain of command in LAPD.”

“Wait, wait! You’re saying you have evidence that all of these guys worked together to abduct these girls!?” Kensi asked, shocked. “Why? What--?”

Deeks looked at her sadly. “It’s a pedophile club.” Callen, Sam, and Kensi’s eyes burned angrily, their mouths settling into grim lines. Deeks nodded sadly and turned back to look at the screen. “I know these six are involved in the physical abductions and I think this one,” Deeks pointed at a brunette man with a thin pointy nose and weak jaw, “might be responsible for body disposal. His name’s Powell. I’ve been working them individually, dropping hints, trying to get them to invite me into their sick little club. I think I’m pretty close to cracking one of them. Once that happens, I should be able to gain access to the rest of the network.” He looked back at his teammates. “Now that you guys have come aboard, I want eyes on Powell so we can figure out where and how he’s been disposing of the bodies. If we can link him officially to the deaths, I can link everyone else to him.” Kensi, Callen, and Sam nodded, stuffing down their feelings and reverting to work mode. 

“Alright then. Deeks let’s get you wired so you can go back under at LAPD. Sam and I will tail Powell. Kensi you back up Deeks. Nell and Eric, check traffic and security cameras and see if you can figure out where these assholes are meeting and where they might be taking these girls.” Everyone nodded in acknowledgement and jumped into action.

Kensi followed Deeks out of Ops, concerned by his stony expression. She didn’t speak until they were both seated in her car and on the way to the LAPD. “Are you…” She trailed off, not wanting to upset him.

He raised an eyebrow at her. “Am I what?”

She swallowed. “Just… are you doing alright? It’s, you know… a tough case.” She peeked up at him.

He sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “It’s hard. I’m not going to lie, but I’ve been working this one for a while. I can keep my personal feelings out of it.” He met her eyes. “You don’t have to worry.” She scoured his expression for signs that he might be disengaging emotionally and, finding none, nodded, satisfied. She turned her eyes back to the road.

Deeks turned to look out the passenger side window, his expression going blank and his eyes losing focus. 

END of Chapter 22


End file.
